Hunting in my Backyard

As you can plainly see, I got rid of the Christmas theme and went with the winter theme that is currently displaying. Looks good, no?

So, we have decided to go to Ryun's uncle's for New Year's Eve. We are going to have chinese food and ring the new year in there. We are looking forward to it and it will be nice to spend some time with the sane and normal members of his family.

Something that has been bugging me but I keep forgetting to mention...there have been hunters for all intents and purposes in my backyard. Well, the train tracks really...but those are my backyard. I had heard a couple of gunshots one day so, I decided to go out and investigate. Stupid, I know. Well anyway, I looked down the tracks and saw a bunch of people in orange with guns slung over their backs. I couldn't believe it. I mean, I could beleive it because...well...I live in the middle of nowhere and there are miles upon miles of woods. But I couldn't believe that they could hunt that close to a house. So me being me, I investigated. I called the Massachusetts Department of Fish and Game and got the lowdown on the law. Apparently, as long as they are at least 500 feet away, it's ok. 500 feet seems way the hell to close to me. I have children...not that I ever let them go run wild on the tracks of course but still...I mean you just never know. A stray bullet...hunting accidents happen all of the time.

I also called the town assessor office to find out who owned the land back there. Apparently, it's kind of an unwritten law that hunters need permission to hunt on someone else's land. The name of the company was "Waldo Operations" which if you ask me just sounds like a farce. I don't know...whatever. Some companies just have weird names I guess. I tried to find a listing for the company to call and find out if in fact permission was given but I couldn't find a listing anywhere. The assessors office said it was listed in Newton Upper Falls but I basically searched the whole state and found nothing.

I don't have a problem with hunting per se. I don't necessarily agree with hunting just for "fun" but whatever. As with all major issues in the world, I don't really take a stand either way. I am all about freedom of...well freedom of everything. The only issue I have is personal safety for me and my family. Do whatever the heck you want, as long as it doesn't directly harm me or mine in anyway.

So yeah, that's it. Just get the hell out of my "backyard" and I'll be fine.

Happy Holidays!

I just finished making fudge...yummy. I made it for Thanksgiving too...and it came out so good that mom asked me to make it for Christmas too.

Christmas Eve is at my house this year. Mom and Dad, Suz and John and Heather are coming over around 6, after church and after they pick up the food I ordered from Mama Mia's(eggplant parm, chicken, brocoli and ziti, and antipasto). Yeah, I am lazy...didn't feel like cooking. That and Mama Mia's is just...yum.

I am all ready for Christmas basically...I have a few small things that need to be wrapped but I am doing that in a little while...while Katherine is napping. Other than that though, I am ready to go.

I have to go food shopping today...blah. I hate food shopping, even more so around this time of year. I am sure it will be nuts...just like every other store.

Anyway, I probably won't be back until after Christmas...so Happy Holidays!

Final Decision

Last night when I went to work, I found out what the oh so important meeting was about. As of February, the call center I work in will be closing.

I am so f'ing happy about this I can't tell you.

And no, I am not being sarcastic.

I haven't been happy there for a long time. I have never been able to justify leaving though...I make too much money, the hours are good etc. The practical always outweighed the emotional side and I just stayed.

Honestly though...it was killing me. I hated it...and it was to the point that just thinking about going in gave me a headache. For awhile, I have been tossing around various ideas in my head...can I quit? Change my hours so that I am home earlier? Find a new job?

I have such a terrible time with decision making.

Needless to say, my decision is made.

I am going to take whatever severence they offer, collect for as long as I can, and just stay home. I kind of feel scummy doing that, knowing full well that I am able to work. You know what though? I have never taken advantage of anything before, and damn it I deserve this time off. A couple of months after the baby is born, I may look for a new job, I may find something I can do from home, or I may just be a fulltime stay at home mom. Ain't nothing wrong with that.

Weekend Report

What a weekend. We got over a foot of snow...and the storm lasted for three days! It was crazy.

Ryun and I spent the weekend down the Cape for his company Christmas party. They put us up in a hotel for two nights, paid for a taxi service all day Saturday/Saturday night and had an open bar at the party. All of this was planned well before the storm was even forcasted...apparently this is the way it is every year. It was fun...and it was nice to meet some of the people Ryun works with.

When we were getting ready to leave on Sunday morning, I decided to call home and check our voicemail. We had a message from Ryun's Uncle that on Saturday night, Ryun's grandmother had died. Ryun lived with is grandmother from the time he was 12 until the day we got married so this hit him pretty hard. He was kind of walking around in a fog all day long yesterday...just doing what he had to...basically shovelling snow. Arrangements are being made today.

We still hadn't put our tree up, so last night I did it by myself. It was kind of depressing because usually I make it big deal with the whole family etc. but Ryun wasn't in the mood for obvious reasons and the kids were cranky. At least it's up though.

P. S. I added a link to my pregnancy journal below...check it out.

Hormones...I Hope

I have been having a "moment" since I got to work today...or maybe a few "moments."

I came in at 6:00 only to find the following two notes in my box(these are a similar version anyway):

Sharon...you have no vacation/personal time left for this year so you will be unable to take December 24th or 31st off. Please see me if you have any questions.

And...

Mandatory customer service meeting Tuesday December 2, 8:00am. Sorry for the short notice but you must make arrangements to attend.

Ok...so...long story short...I was absent in February for three days. These days were not supposed to be taken from either personal or vacation time(long story which Iwon't bore you with) and they were. I didn't fight it...or I didn't fight enough...I should have. I will not be working on either Christmas or New Year's Eve. I really don't give a @#$% if it is against policy or that I won't get paid. Do me a favor and fire my ass ok? I did send a much more diplomatic email to my supervisor so we shall see what kind of response I get when I get in tonight.

Regarding the "mandatory meeting" that I must attend...who seriously thinks I would choose to work at night if I didn't have to? Everyone(or least anyone whos anyone) at Adelphia knows that I have two young children...one of which is in first grade and gets on the bus at 8:00, the other who needs to be driven to preschool at 9:00. Well, maybe they don't know the exact schedule but whatever. They know the ages of my children and most 1st graders are getting on the bus sometime in the early morning. I sent an email to the other supervisor in charge of the meeting explaining this situation to her...and again I guess I will find out what 's up today. I never see them because I work at night and...they don't.

Thank God.

I also spent a lot of time thinking about how I am going to(more than likely) miss my children's first time on a plane, in Disney etc. And I really want this baby and I am very excited but the missing them in Disney just makes me so sad. I wish I knew beforehand and I would have planned a little better.

The night went from bad to worse when I went to the bathroom and not to be graphic saw blood on the toiletpaper. I freaked a little, called the doc and they said what I described(which for the sake of my readers I won't do here) was normal and if I felt any pain or actually started bleeding to call or just go to the ER. I also have a doctor's appointment tomorrow so I will mention it then. I never had any bleeding with either of my other pregnancies so that's why I was a afraid. I knew it was normal early on but when you see blood and you know it couldn't be that time of month and your pregnant...it's just a little scary.

So, all in all it was kind of a bad night. For some reason...probably hormones I was on the verge of tears all night long.

Blah.

Thanksigiving Weekend Summed Up

Thanksgiving was nice. We had dinner at my parents house and as usual, Mom cooked enough to feed a small army. I think they still might be eating leftovers.

After dinner, we went down and watched old home movies. That's always a good time...sentimental old me loves doing that kind of thing. Plus, making fun of my sister with the perm and huge glasses is just fun!

Friday I went to a day spa in Plymouth and had a back treatment and facial. I fell asleep during the facial...she literally had to wake me up. If I were rich, I would do that everyday. God that was awesome.

My class reunion was Friday night. Surprisingly, I had a great time. I planned it but for some reason, I wasn't really looking forward to it. It was fun though and I am glad I went.

Emily was in the Annual Middleboro Christmas Parade on Saturday afternoon. She has never actually been in a parade so she was very excited. She( and the rest of the girls in her Scout troop) were dressed up like angels. It was fun...but freezing!

Saturday night Ryun and I went to say goodbye to our friend Eric that is leaving for Iraq. The whole gang was there...all of our friends from "the hood". It was a good time...but sad at the same time. I made a small collage with pictures of all of us with him that I have taken over the years. He is a big tough guy...but a very sentimental one too. I swear he got choked up about 5 times last night...especially after I gave him the collage.

It's still hard to believe he is going. I can't even imagine not seeing my family for that long...especially my kids. He is going for at least 18 months. He kept saying last night,"Don't worry about me, just take care of Stacy and the kids."

While he's there, he will be taking supplies to and from different command posts throughout the country. Could he have a more dangerous job? All you hear about is soldiers driving through the desert getting attacked by people. And that is exactly what he will be doing...going from Bagdad to Mozul and everywhere else, driving a Hummer through "enemy" territory.

Say a prayer for him...and everyone else over there too.

Katherine Elizabeth turns four

Happy Birthday Katherine Elizabeth! Yesterday, my baby turned four. Four. Yikes...where does the time go?

Every day with Katherine is a blessing. She is such a joy. She loves to snuggle and is such a sweet little girl.

She started preschool this year and she just loves it. She is very enthusiastic and loves to share what she did with me.

At this Thanksgiving, as in the past four, Katherine is one reason among many to be thankful. I can't imagine my world without her.

Crying

Before I begin, let me just say that I love my daughter(s) to pieces. Like every parent though, I am going through one of those "imfamous" stages that kids go through as they grow. At least I hope it's a stage. Please oh please let it be a stage.

She cries about every little thing that does not go her way. EVERY LITTLE THING Once in a while, I could understand. But when I say every little thing, I mean it. Example: Today at breakfast the girls were fighting over the light. My dining room light is on a dimmer and of course, one wanted it all of the down, the other all of the way up. They were going back and forth about it, so finally, I just went in and set it in the middle....a compromise of sorts. I swear to God that the only reason they each wanted it at opposite ends was just because the other one wanted the other way. I really don't think either of them seriously cared which way the light was. They're like that sometimes. Anyway, she starts crying...like full-fledged crying...tears, sobbing, whining the whole bit. Over a god-damned light. This is just one example of many many. Whether it's a huge thing, or something as small as a light setting, she break down in tears. As if whatever has gone wrong is the end of the world as she knows it.

I am at my wits end. The situation usually ends with me getting angry with her and sending her to a time out. Apparently though, the time-outs are not an effective form of discipline in this case since the untolerated behavior keeps happening. I have tried talking to her too...explaining that sometimes in life, things don't go as planned or as you had hoped that they would and that you just have to accept it and move on. I told her that even in my life, or in Daddy's we have things that go wrong and that it just didn't happen to her. I told her that once in a while, if something really, really upsets you, it's ok to cry. However, I also said that sometimes, you just have to be sad...without the drama of tears.

Does anyone out there have any suggestions?

She's such a sweet girl. Just about everything else is fine. She is occasionally a bit on the fresh side but that seems normal. This crying thing at her age(6) just doesn't seem right.

HELP!

Random Ending

Very very soon, I will be uploading perhaps the most important picture I have ever displayed here, as well as adding a link to a new journal that I will be starting. Probably after Thanksgiving sometime. So, check back before then for "regular" entries but be sure to check back afterwards as well.

Can anyone guess what this picture may be of?

The suspense.....

Anyway, the kids bedrooms look fabulous...every blessed toy is in order, beds are remade military style, furniture is washed/dusted and rugs are vacuumed. The main thing was organizing toys though, because everything else I do on a regular basis. Emily was not too excited about the whole thing but eventually she got over it and helped out.

The next plan of attack is reorganizing the playroom. I will probably do this one on my own though. It'as a good size room, but there is kind of a lot of "stuff" in it so it would just be easier for one person.

Happy Days

I have been thinking a lot lately...about life in general. I have come to somewhat of a conclusion. Virtually the only thing that is making me unhappy in my life is my job.

I am falling more and more in my love with my life everyday. Ryun has been phenomenal lately....and I think the change is finally the permanent kind. Just the fact that he wants another baby is proof enough, at least for me.

My kids seriously are the best in the world...the fact that I have been lucky enough in life to be blessed with then still amazes me everyday.

I love my house and the way I have decorated it. I love the location.

I love everything about it.

I like where I am in life. I like being a wife and a mother and I can't imagine who else I would want that with. Ryun, Emily and Katherine were meant for me.

The only thing left is my job...my most hated job. I no longer can find even one small thing that I like about it. I am not appreciated, my talents are being wasted or not used at all, and just the thought of going gives me a headache.

Since I have come to this conclusion, I have decided that the time to find a new one is now. I am seriously looking and seriously hoping that something works out. There's no reason not to and every reason to.

Miracle of Miracles

By some miracle of God, Ryun has decided that he wants to try to have another baby. I am so excited and shocked that I think I have been on a natural high since he told me the other day.

He has always been so adament...no more kids, two is enough etc. The possibility of having a third almost doesn't seem real. But it is real. An I am so happy.

Meat and Potatoes

In the never ending quest to improve my overall health, I have decided to try to stop drinking soda...not even diet. And this morning, I drank my coffee black with no sugar. Good Lord, that was dis-gust-ing.

I might just have to give up coffee too...which shouldn't be a problem since I only have a cup every few days. I sincerely doubt that I will ever get used to drinking it black. It's a far cry from the extra light extra sweet that I am used to.

Nothing is wrong by the way...regarding my health. Except that my cholesterol is high, at least at last check it was.

Soda takes the rust of cars...imagine what it is doing to my teeth? And the sugar and cream in coffee=fat. Something I defintely don't want or need.

I might even start buying more organic foods at the store.

But I will never, ever give up meat.

And you can quote me on that.

Richie and Dean

Katherine got her first preschool progress report today. She did very well...got the highest score in all areas. And no, I am not over the fact that she is even old enough to get a report. Seriously where does the time go?

I was going to upload some photos from the Halloween party but, I don't like how I look in them so I am not going to. Heh. I did look just like Velma though.

I really love my new layout. It just looks more...professional I think. I don't know. Maybe I like it just because I did it all by myself. Either way...

Want to hear something sick? I have almost all of my Christmas shopping for the kids done. What's up with me being so organized? I still have everyone else to do but still, being almost done with my kids a month and a half before Christmas is pretty impressive. Don't you agree?

CD MUST PURCHASE: Lonestar's Greatest Hits. It 's awesome. That, and Dean looks really hot on the cover. So does Richie for that matter.

Smashing Success

The 6th Annual Ellis Hallowwen Party was a smashing success. Ryun and I dressed up like Fred and Velma and Suz and John were Daphne and Shaggy. We looked exactly like them. Ryun especially. When I post the pics, I am sure you will agree.

I had a little too much to drink so of course the microphone came out and singing ensued. I probably sounded like shit but you know what? I don't care. I had fun. I was belting out Barry, Air Supply and yes, even Cabbage Patch Kid songs from childhood. Don't ask. Cranberry and Malibu...does it to me every time.

My parents had the kids overnight so I actually got to sleep a little on Sunday morning. This was a very good thing because I am sure if I had not, I would have felt like crap. When the kids got home, we all watched the Patriots game together(they won...YAY!) and then I went off to my most hated job.

Does anyone have a job they can offer me that does not involve staying out of my house til 11:00 at night? One that does not involve dealing with cable television in any way shape or form? One that still allows me to be a stay at home mom during the day? And one that pays me the same amount of money make at Adelphia now? Seriously...I have to find something else. Burn out is just not even a strong enough phrase to describe how I feel about my current situation. So help me find a new one, will ya?

My Front Porch Looking In

At the beginning each month, Emily gets a calendar with a different activity for each day. Each week, we have to pick three activities to do, then fill out a response journal. This is all she gets for homework and the activities are usually fun things(collect leaves and sort them by size and color just to share an example). Yesterday one of the activities we picked was to discuss how we would help people to live peacefully. Her answer? "Give them gold."

I laughed because she said it in such a matter-of-fact way and asked her for some other ideas. She had a few good ones(spend time with families, go to church etc) so we wrote those down and finished her assignment.

Later on though, I got to thinking. Where did she come up with the idea that giving money to people would make them happy? It sure as heck wasn't from me. If anything, I think that money may be the root of all evil. It's such a sad, sad world when a six year old thinks that money is the key to happiness and living peacefully.

Sometimes, I wish there was a way to prevent her (and Katherine) from being influenced by the warped views and influences society seems to have. I know that it probably would not be a good thing. Obviously, as she learns and experiences new things, she will form her own opinions, make her own decisions. Occasionally, I just wish that we(her immediate family) were the only ones influencing her. Because all in all, I think that the attitude, general demeanor, and ways of the world are just depressing.

Everything is just too rush rush, too technical, and too "away" from what I believe.

What do I believe? I think that money is one of the last things you need to feel truly peaceful. If you have enough to pay the bills be thankful. There are some who don't even have half of what you do. Or a quarter. Or even a sixteenth. If you don't have enough, find a way to get it. There's always a way...if you want it enough. And you don't have to be devious or do anything illegal.

I think that true happiness is found at home. With your family and friends, surrounded by people that by all rights should love, care and protect you. If they don't...find a new "family". They don't deserve you anyway.

Where do I find my happiness? In the looks, the touch, and the sounds of my family. Absolutely nothing, no amount of money, nobody could make my day more than hearing or seeing my family happy. There is no group of people I would rather spend time with. Of course, just like everyone else, I have times where I just need to get away. But, overall....my home is where my heart is...and my family is the truest, most pure form of happiness I have ever experienced.

"Cause every where I'll ever go, and everywhere I've been, nothing takes my breath away like my front porch looking in." Lonestar

Weekend Events

My parents took the kids overnight Saturday. They went to Salem, MA to see a parade that my sister was in and they had a great time. Ryun and I went to dinner and a movie(we saw the Rundown...two thumbs up and damn, The Rock is hot!). We went to "our" restaurant for dinner...The Fireside. That was where is proposed to me and also where we had our wedding reception. It was nice and as always the food was to die for.

On Sunday, my mother and I took Emily and Katherine to see Rumpilstiltskin at the newly renovated Plymouth Memorial Hall and we had fun. The kids got to go up on stage and just loved it. Kevin (a teacher at CHS) was filming it for the cable channel so the kids will be on local access at some point. Movie stars in the making...he he he.

Anyway, it was a good weekend all in all. Except for the bleach that leaked onto Ryun's brand new shirt while we were food shopping. Brand new, never worn...just got it for his birthday last month. I was pissed...he was too. It wasn't really anyone's fault but we spoke to the customer service department and they gave us the phone number for the manager. He will be in today so I will be calling in a little while. Not to be a bitch...just to see if there is anything they can do...maybe a store credit or something.

Anyway...that's it. Pictures soon...promise.

YANKEES SUCK!!!!!!!!!!

GO SOX!!!!!!! After an exciting game last night(the Yanks were up the Sox were up, the Yanks were up the Sox were up etc) the Red Sox have tied the series at three each. After they win tonight(which they will) we will be on our way to the WORLD SERIES!

Anyone who has ever lost faith, and I mean anyone, neener neener neener to you.

I got my new camera. I love it! It can even record a short movie. How cool is that? I will definitely be updating with photos soon.

So yeah, nothing exciting to say really...just thought I would throw a quick entry in. Blah Blah Blah

New Camera Damn Yankees

My camera broke. And it's going to cost $125 to fix. So I am getting a new one. And I am psyched!

I have wanted a digtal camera for quite some time but couldn't really justify getting one when I had a perfectly good camera that worked fine. Now I have an excuse. So, I am going to shop around and see what the best deal is and get one. YAY!

The SOX lost last night. God damn Yankees. Hate them. Really I do.

Why I Moved

So, I think I may have written and entry in my former journal that someone completely misconstrued. This is why I moved.

Just in case you wanted to know.

SOX lost last night but the game was exciting nonetheless. A fight and everything. You don't see that too often at a baseball game. Game 4 is tonight and I will be watching it from work.

Ryun is at the PATS game today...in the pouring rain unfortunately. He went with his grandfather(how cute is that?). He has seats right near the clubhouse and a parking stub for some special lot. Ryun's aunt works for Dunkin Donuts and she gets them free tickets every year.

I might call in to work tonight...for no real reason other than the fact that I just don't feel like going. Is that bad?

Go Sox!

Here I am. In my new home. I probably could have stayed at the old one but something just ticked me off so I moved.

Obviously.

I am not going to bother locking this site because the only people that will know the address are the ones I email it to or tell personally. If you are one of the chosen(sounds like a line out of Buffy) then I will trust you not to share it with anyone...at least no one that I know personally. Total strangers are more than welcome to read.

I might transfer some of my past entries over to the new location but I am not sure if I want to be bothered.

Anyway, that's all I have to say for now...except of course... GO SOX!!!!!!!!!!!!

Happy Birthday To Me...tomorrow

Finally an answer to the question I have been pondering for years.

Seriously, doesn't it seem odd that scientists would probably spend millions of dollars on figuring out why the cookie crumbles? How about finding a cure for cancer? Or AIDS?

Whatever.

Happy Birthday to me by the way...well tomorrow anyway. Twenty eight years old...and even scarier...two years from thirty.

Someone( not sure who yet) was kind enough to pass their cold on to me. Or maybe I got it first. Either way, I am miserable. I freakin' hate colds. Runny noses, watery eyes, headaches...annoying as all heck.

And dammitt, it's my birthday...I don't want to be sick.

So make me feel better and tell me that I am not old and that you hope I have a happy day, or something like that.

And oh yeah...Brendan is home!! YAY!

Train

I have written 208 entries since I started posting in this journal almost two years ago. If I am doing the math right, that means I have written an average of about 2 entries per week. Kind of a bad average but better than not writing at all I guess.

The train came through at 11:00 last night...and then again at 12:30. It has never come through at night...the latest has been maybe 1:00 in the afternoon. I damn near had a heart attack. I jumped out of bed, yelled at Ryun to go check and make sure Katie was ok(Em too but Katie is sort of afraid of the train) , and my heart was racing. The train is only about 20 feet from the back of my house...maybe a bit more. I can see it perfectly from my bedroom window. There's a crossing too...because out behind the tracks are bogs so trucks drive through in order to access them.. So, all the bells and whistles, plus just the sound of the train itself...it's a bit loud.

The kids bedrooms upstairs are the full width of the house...back to front so it goes right by their windows as well. Neither of them woke up.

I seriously was beginning to wonder if I had imagined it.

When Ryun came down and said that they were both still asleep, I said to him, "The train did just go by, didn't it?" He looked at me oddly and said, "Umm...yeah, I think so."

Mystery Man Revealed...sort of.

Katie and I went to lunch today at Friendly's...and she didn't want icecream. Isn't there some kind of a law against that? If not, there should be.

I think she may be coming down with something...not just because she didn't want icecream. Well that too, but also because she has the sniffles and a cough. She went to school this morning though...I am a firm beleiever in going unless you are really, really sick. Routine is good for children.

The mystery man of Rte. 28 has been revealed...well kind of anyway. I have a friend that lives a little further north on 28 so I finally asked him about it. The guy has been walking on 28 for years...in fact two other people that were in on the convo said as much. No one knows much about him...just that he does actually reside in a house in Middleboro and that he is a Vietnam Vet. Weird that I had probably driven down 28 a number of times before I moved here and I never noticed him.

Have I ever mentioned how much I love the TV show Will and Grace? OMG that show just makes me laugh and laugh...and laugh some more. Season One came out on DVD a few weeks ago and guess who was first in line to buy it? Yup. Season premiere next week. Can't wait.

Speaking of...got to go shower so I will be done in time for the Survivor season premiere.

Chow.

More on Em

As it turns out, my fears weren't unfounded. Emily woke up this morning, said she had a stomachache and did not want to go to school. I explained to her that if she stayed home, that it would mean that she would be spending the day on the couch, or in her bed...not playing and going outside. I told her that since Katie and I weren't sick that we would be able to play etc. I knew that she wasn't really sick and I wanted to make her understand that if you stay home from school it's becuase you are so sick that you can't even imagine doing anything else aside from just lying around. She admitted to me that she really wasn't sick, that she just wanted to stay home. She said she wanted to stay home because her day is too long and that she wanted to spend time with me. She once said that she thought school was boring. I told her that when she came home we could spend some time together. Her response, "No we can't because you have to cook dinner and go to work." Which, of course is true. And I feel horribly guilty about that. This is so hard. I explained to her that I understood how her day was long and that I missed her while she was gone too...but that school was very important. I told her that Mama and Daddy went to school everyday when they were little and that's how we got so smart(it's true you know!). I told her that we would do something special together on Saturday...just her and I. I wasn't using it as a bribe, I just wanted her to know that I was interested in spending time with her too. I left the decision up to her...go to school and learn or sit home and do nothing. Wisely, she chose school and I told her that I was very proud of her for making that decision.

This is just so...weird. I know that preschool and kindergarten are a completely different story than 1st grade, but Emily has always been so enthusiastic about school. She loved going. She told me with a little sadness and anger in her voice that recess was the only time that she got to play in 1st grade. I don't think she likes the structure involved with sitting in a classroom all day. I just don't know what to do about it.

I have often wondered if she may have attention deficit disorder. She is not hyperactive but I sometimes think that she feels trapped when she is put in a situation where she has to stay still, pay attention etc. She is also brilliant...seriously smart beyond her years. She retains just about anything that she is shown or told and remembers virtually everything. I wonder if she gets bored with what is going on at school. Even trying to picture her sitting down at a desk and paying attention for longer than an hour is hard to imagine.

I am going to give it a little more time, then I might think about calling her teacher or the school adjustment counselor to get their opinion. I won't wait too much longer though...it's important to get this straightened out as soon as possible.

Emily...again

So, I am worried about Emily. Probably over nothing but I am worried just the same. She just doesn't seem like her usual self. She has been completely out of sorts lately and only once in a while do we catch a glimmer of the "old" Emily. She has gone to the school nurse twice(could be more but I only know because she tells me) saying that she had a stomachache and yesterday at dance she had the headache behind the eyes again. The thing is I don't think she is really "sick." I think it is all in her head. That may sound like a terrible thing to say but it's just a feeling I get. Now I am freaking out about what could be causing her such stress. Maybe it's just the adjustment going from summer to school, to a full day of school no less. I also have a feeling that me going to work Sun-Wed nights might be a bad thing. Ryun and Emily tend to clash when they are not tired...at 5:00 in the afternoon, when Emily has recently gotten off of the bus and Ryun is pulling in the driveway they are both beyond tired. Ryun is working in Weymouth right now so his commute won't be too bad, but he may be going to Lowell next which is at least a two hour commute. Not to sound like the perfect wife and mother, but generally, when I am around, things tend to run a little bit smoother. Tired or not, I am a much more patient person than either Emily or Ryun.

My paycheck goes directly into savings. None of it is used to pay bills. And, even if I didn't work, Ryun makes more than enough money to cover bills and save. Right now, with my check being deposited into savings, the extra money in Ryun's check just goes to whatever. If I did stop working, in order to maintain a healthy savings, we would have to be a lot more "rigid" about what we spend. I think the lifestyle change would be more than worth it ...giving up my job though(despite my constant dislike of it) is just a difficult decision to make. I of course feel guilty for not just quitting immediately if I think it would help with Emily. Guilt I think is an inherent trait that comes along with being a mom.

Emily has to be up at 6:30am every morning. They eat breakfast and chill from 6:30-7, then we spend the next 1/2 hour to 45 minutes getting ready to get the bus. She gets on the bus at about 7:50 and doesn't get home until 4:10. That is a long day for a six year old child. I barely have any time Mon-Wed to chat with her about her day and give her the attention she so deserves. It's rush rush rush...get her off of the bus, cook dinner, eat dinner, give Ryun the rundown on what the kids need to do for the night(bathe, clean, homework etc) and then leave. It's insane.

Completely insane.

Decisions, decisions. Any ideas?

Incidentally, I am thinking that I may shut down the Emily/Katie journal and just continue to update here. Too much work maintaining two sites. I have basically been updating Em/Kate news here anyway. Just an fyi.

Seafood, School, CM

We had a wonderful weekend...very relaxing and the weather was nice. We saw the movie "The Italian Job" which was pretty good and we went mini-golfing at Pirate's Cove. We at dinner at a place called "Christopher's Ribs and Seafood" and it was delicious. I had a special called, "Scallops Parmesan." It was to die for.

I love seafood. I have decided, that since Ryun's seafood liking includes only fish and chips that I need to go out with my brother in law John. He loves seafood...at least as much as I do if not more. He can't go out with my sister for seafood though, because she is highly allergic. So, Suz and Ry can go to a non-seafood type place and John and I will go for seafood. Sounds like a good plan to me.

Katie started pre-school today. She loved it and I am so glad. She was very nervous about the prospect, but once she got there, she was fine. She is going to the same preschool I went to when I was little. How cute is that?

I am working on my first ever Creative Memories scrapbook. My models(Emily and Katie) have been working tirelessly smiling and posing and playing while i photograph them. If I am making a scrapbook for show, why not have it be of the two cutest kids on the planet?

Medical

It appears as though I spoke to soon as far as Emily is concerned. Although the fever is in fact gone, she threw up last night, just after getting all cleaned up in the bath tub. Not that she could help that, but timing is everything isn't it? She hasn't been herself since this whole thing started so, if she has any other symptoms, or just isn't back to normal by tomorrow, back to the doctor's we go.

Speaking of doctor's...Katie had her followup with the allergist yesterday. He thinks that she has mild asthma so now, in addition to the nasonex, she is going to be taking Singulair. Between her allergy medications and her hypoglycemic testing paraphanelia it sure is a good thing we have a excellent prescription plan. Not that I wouldn't pay an arm and a leg regardless, but you know what I mean.

Apparently, this entry will be all about medical concerns because, yes, I have just one more piece of info to share.

As wonderful as Ryun's health plan through the union is, there is just one major gripe I have. They only pay for a physical for children once every otheryear. Isn't that crazy? I was wondering if there was some kind of a law regarding how often children had to visit the doctor, so I called the pediatrician and asked. He said that there wasn't a law, but, any doctor he has ever known or heard about schedules a well child visit once a year, and, more often when they are younger due to vaccinations. That coupled with the fact that in order to enter a Massachusetts Public School System, you must have a physical form filled out that is no less than a year old really makes the health plans rule stupid. Of course, I take the girls yearly regardless of what the insurance covers but it pisses me off.

So there.

West Nile and Dr. Phil

Emily's first day of school went well. She loved her new teacher and enjoyed meeting her new classmates. I will of course, be posting pictures as soon as I get the film developed.

She woke up this morning and her fever was only 99 so I sent her to school. When she got off of the bus though, it was 102.5 so I immediately called the doctor and took her in. Because she has had the fever since Monday, they were concerned enough to test her for strep, test her urine and draw blood. The only thing that came back a little off was that her white blood count was a little different from what is considered normal. Anyway, they said to give the fever another couple of days to go away and if it doesn't to bring her back in for further testing. They think it could just be a virus. But I am a little freaked out for a number of reasons. On Monday afternoon...at around 1:00 or so, she came in from outside and was covered with mosquito bites. Her arms looked like she had chicken pox it was that bad. I have never ever been concerned about the bugs being a problem until at least after 4:00. This was late morning, early afternoon. Maybe it is because we live near the bogs? I really don't know. Anyway, Katie had a few bites too but Emily was much worse off. So yeah, not to be an alarmist but I have West Nile/meningitis fears running through my mind. The other thing is is that the only complaints she has had are a severe headache and a stomach ache...both symptoms of mosquito-borne viruses. I did mention the bug bites to the doc and she didn't seem all that concerned so we shall see.

And, on a completely random note... on a whim, I sent an email to the Dr. Phil show discussing in detail the differences in parenting techniques that Ryun and I have. One of the upcoming shows will deal with parental discipline issues. I received an email from a production assistant today asking that I forward a family picture (for Paramount security purposes) to her, and that she would be contacting me within a few days regarding being on the show.

I don't know if I have mentioned before the obsession I have with anything Dr. Phil. Seriously he has the best ideas and advice on a myriad of topics. I have read every book he has ever written and yes, I record his show everyday.

Would the chance to meet him in person actually be worth the embarrassment of airing the dirty laundry on national television?

Hell freakin' yeah.

Creative Sick

So, now that I have all of these fancy tools, I think I am going to set up a new family website. I am just dreading the html part of it. Now that I know the code and am pretty comfortable with it, I can't bring myself to use the "premade" type websites that a lot of companies offer. When I write my own code, I can be guaranteed that I will like the finished product and it also offers more of a personal touch. I am proud of myself for taking the HTML class online and really learning the in and outs, but even knowing as much as I do now, it still has to be one of the most frustrating things ever. In any event, when I have it done, I will post a link here so you can check it out. And compliment me on my obvious skills. ;)

I am expecting my Creative Memories consultant start up kit any day now. I ordered my business cards yesterday so those should arrive shortly as well. I am really looking forward to this. I am not expecting to earn a ton of money...I just think this will be fun. My love of scrapbooking and enthusiasm in general will certainly help. My first show is at my sister's on September 20.

Emily starts first grade tomorrow. The poor kid has been sick for two days though. She seems to be on the mend now this afternoon so hopefully she will be fine for tomorrow. And yes, I am freaking a little about her starting first grade. I think I'm normal though. What Mom doesn't have a minor episode over her baby growing up?

Pirates and Nursing

Last night, my sister and I went to see Pirates of the Caribbean. Two enthusiastic thumbs up! It was one of the best movies I have seen in a long time. Johnny Depp...I never even liked him before I saw this movie. He was just unbelievable. He sure has come a long way since 21 Jump Street.

My grandmother fell and broke her wrist. She had to have surgery on it yesterday. Because it is her right wrist and she is right handed, she is going to come stay at my parents house for the duration. My parents both work so I have volunteered to go over and help my grandmother get dressed and eat etc. On top of this, my mother is having back surgery on September 9, so she will be out of communion for a while too. I think that during that time, in addition to helping them dress etc, I will also cook a few meals and bring them over. I feel like a nurse.

Big news

I am again debating whether or not I should keep this journal up. It's locked, and only 5 people have the password. No one ever comments on anything anymore(or hardly anyway) and well, I could just as easily keep a record of my thoughts with a pen and paper. The big debate rages again.

Ryun did the funniest thing the other night. A few days ago, I told him that almost every night when I came home, he has left a cup, or a can, or trash of some sort on one of the end tables in the living room and that it drove me nuts. I wasn't being a bitch, and I said it in a joking manner so it wasn't really a big deal. The other night when I came home from work, he had lined both end tables, the coffee table and the entertainment center with the plastic cups I had just bought. At first, I said aloud, "What the hell?" Then I realized what he had done and busted out laughing. I love when we have moments like that. Also, it helped me keep from being mad at him for leaving the sink full of dishes rather than stacking the dishwasher. LOL

So, I have some more pictures that I will be uploading soon. I am having way to much fun with this whole new computer thing.

I have made a couple of cds...an 80's mix and a 70's mix. The 80's mix even has some tv theme songs on it...like Growing Pains and Family Ties. Because yeah, like I have said before, I am a big geek.

Oh yeah, big news. I have decided to become a Creative Memories Consultant. Anyone who knows me knows that I am a scrapbooking nut so it only seems natural to take this step. I am looking forward to it. My first official class is going to be at my sisters house on September 20.

Maybe I will be able to quit my job at Adelphia...now that would be some big news.