Emily...again

So, I am worried about Emily. Probably over nothing but I am worried just the same. She just doesn't seem like her usual self. She has been completely out of sorts lately and only once in a while do we catch a glimmer of the "old" Emily. She has gone to the school nurse twice(could be more but I only know because she tells me) saying that she had a stomachache and yesterday at dance she had the headache behind the eyes again. The thing is I don't think she is really "sick." I think it is all in her head. That may sound like a terrible thing to say but it's just a feeling I get. Now I am freaking out about what could be causing her such stress. Maybe it's just the adjustment going from summer to school, to a full day of school no less. I also have a feeling that me going to work Sun-Wed nights might be a bad thing. Ryun and Emily tend to clash when they are not tired...at 5:00 in the afternoon, when Emily has recently gotten off of the bus and Ryun is pulling in the driveway they are both beyond tired. Ryun is working in Weymouth right now so his commute won't be too bad, but he may be going to Lowell next which is at least a two hour commute. Not to sound like the perfect wife and mother, but generally, when I am around, things tend to run a little bit smoother. Tired or not, I am a much more patient person than either Emily or Ryun.

My paycheck goes directly into savings. None of it is used to pay bills. And, even if I didn't work, Ryun makes more than enough money to cover bills and save. Right now, with my check being deposited into savings, the extra money in Ryun's check just goes to whatever. If I did stop working, in order to maintain a healthy savings, we would have to be a lot more "rigid" about what we spend. I think the lifestyle change would be more than worth it ...giving up my job though(despite my constant dislike of it) is just a difficult decision to make. I of course feel guilty for not just quitting immediately if I think it would help with Emily. Guilt I think is an inherent trait that comes along with being a mom.

Emily has to be up at 6:30am every morning. They eat breakfast and chill from 6:30-7, then we spend the next 1/2 hour to 45 minutes getting ready to get the bus. She gets on the bus at about 7:50 and doesn't get home until 4:10. That is a long day for a six year old child. I barely have any time Mon-Wed to chat with her about her day and give her the attention she so deserves. It's rush rush rush...get her off of the bus, cook dinner, eat dinner, give Ryun the rundown on what the kids need to do for the night(bathe, clean, homework etc) and then leave. It's insane.

Completely insane.

Decisions, decisions. Any ideas?

Incidentally, I am thinking that I may shut down the Emily/Katie journal and just continue to update here. Too much work maintaining two sites. I have basically been updating Em/Kate news here anyway. Just an fyi.