I just signed on to Emily's i tunes account and download some of her music to my i pod touch, because yes, I am just cool like that. Here's the latest playlist generated from her music:
Firework by Katy Perry (LOVE this song)
Just A Dream By Nelly
Just the Way You Are by Bruno Mars (LOVE this one too!)
Ke$ha Tik Tok
Raise Your Glass Pink
Check It Out Nicki Minaj
Time Of My Life Black Eyed Peas
B.O.B. Magic In Me
Enrique Iglesias Baby I Like It
Freak the Freak Out Victoria Justice
Comin' Home Dirty Money
Grenade Bruno Mars
Sara Barielles King Of Anything
The "coolness factor" goes both ways. Emily has some music from the 80's and before on her i pod including NKOTB, Air Supply, old school Bon Jovi, Men At Work, Hall and Oates, AC DC, Aerosmith, Jimmy Buffett, Kool and the Gang, MJ, U2, Journey and more. She also has a fair amount of country music, my other favorite genre.
And of course she also has some Barry Manilow on there. Let's face it, no music collection could possibly be considered complete without a little Barry.
Showing posts with label Emily. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Emily. Show all posts
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Dear Emily and Katherine,
Please remember to be very specific with your younger, very literal, sees everything as black or white sister. For example, if you are telling her that you don't want her following you, please be sure to also say that it doesn't mean that she can't even be in the same room as you, or that you may not tolerate her following you every once in a while. Otherwise she will think that because you said it once, you mean it to be a permanent thing. If you then say that she can come in the room you are in, she will accuse you of lying when you told her not to follow you in the first place. If you are letting her use one of your toys, please make her aware of the "terms of use." If she can use your doll but you don't want her taking said doll's shoes off or if she can use your DSi game but for only a limited time, you must make her aware of this. If you aren't very specific, your doll's shoes could be removed and, she may think that you have in fact given her the DSi game for an unlimited time and possibly even forever. For Julia, it's all in the details. Please be generous and abundant when providing them. In the case of Julia, there is no such thing as too much information.
Sincerely, Mom
Sincerely, Mom
Thursday, October 21, 2010
If someone could please tell me...
...how it is even possible that next week I will be going to an informational meeting at Middleboro High School for parents of incoming first year students, that would be great.
And really how does this happen in what literally feels like the blink of an eye?
And really how does this happen in what literally feels like the blink of an eye?
She was just two weeks old in that picture and I swear to God and all that is holy it was just like yesterday that I took that.
Friday, September 24, 2010
I was reminded yesterday...
...of a funny story from way back when Katherine was about five or so.
Yesterday, Emily was watching a show on Animal Planet (I think) about crocodiles, alligators and reptiles in general. She loves watching those kinds of shows. Very often I will find her watching Discovery, Animal Planet or the History Channel. She's fascinated by it all and similar to Ryun, absorbs the information like a sponge. Ask her how to survive stranded in the woods? She'll know. Stuck on an island in the middle of nowhere? if Emily is with you, have no fear...she'll either find a way to get you home or find a way to make the conditions livable. Chat with her about what has been found on archaeological digs and what it means historically and she'll know that too. Need to write a report on sharks...no need to go to the library...just ask Emily. When I say sponge...I am not kidding. Between her and Ryun, they know the most obscure and random things...things you would never think you need to know...until you do.
Anyway, Emily watching the show about reptiles reminded me of the time I called Ryun on the way home from somewhere and asked him to"stir the crock." Katherine, who was with me in the car said (and yes, she was dead serious), "Mom, are we really having a crocodile for dinner? That is so cool!"
Yesterday, Emily was watching a show on Animal Planet (I think) about crocodiles, alligators and reptiles in general. She loves watching those kinds of shows. Very often I will find her watching Discovery, Animal Planet or the History Channel. She's fascinated by it all and similar to Ryun, absorbs the information like a sponge. Ask her how to survive stranded in the woods? She'll know. Stuck on an island in the middle of nowhere? if Emily is with you, have no fear...she'll either find a way to get you home or find a way to make the conditions livable. Chat with her about what has been found on archaeological digs and what it means historically and she'll know that too. Need to write a report on sharks...no need to go to the library...just ask Emily. When I say sponge...I am not kidding. Between her and Ryun, they know the most obscure and random things...things you would never think you need to know...until you do.
Anyway, Emily watching the show about reptiles reminded me of the time I called Ryun on the way home from somewhere and asked him to"stir the crock." Katherine, who was with me in the car said (and yes, she was dead serious), "Mom, are we really having a crocodile for dinner? That is so cool!"
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Overheard AtThe Dinner Table
Emily: Dad, why are you so frustrated?
Julia: He's a man...he is always frustrated.
Julia is 6 years old and has already developed quite the insight in to the male mind.
Watch out world (males in particular)...here she comes! : )
Julia: He's a man...he is always frustrated.
Julia is 6 years old and has already developed quite the insight in to the male mind.
Watch out world (males in particular)...here she comes! : )
Saturday, July 3, 2010
June 29th...
...marked the 6 year anniversary of when Emily was diagnosed with Epilepsy. Below is the entry I wrote after her first seizure:
On Sunday afternoon/evening, Ryun cleared Emily's room and painted it to match their new furniture/bedding sets that we will be setting up soon. Because the paint was still wet( and the fumes still strong) we set Emily's bed up in Katherine's room for her to sleep in there. They were so excited to have a "slumber party"...it was so cute.
Twice during the night Emily came down to our room...once to go to the bathroom(there is one in the hallway upstairs I think she just wanted to come down and say hi) and once just because. When she asked if she could stay down with us, the first time I said, "No, go ahead back upstairs...Katherine might be sad if she wakes up and doesn't see you there for your slumber party." She was fine with that and went back up. A few hours later( around 5:00 am or so) she came back and asked if she could stay again. I said the same thing about Katherine being sad but at the end I said, "It's your choice though...you can stay if you want to."
Thank God she did.
When Emily came down the last time, Ryun was just getting up to leave for work. She jumped in to his spot in bed and started asking me all kinds of questions...What time is it? How many minutes until we get up? Do I start swimming lessons today? I answered her and finally said, "Ok Em, it is time to go to sleep."
At about 8:00(Katherine had come down about 1/2 hour earlier when she woke up) she and I were lying down in bed talking quietly when Emily made this noise that kind of sounded like she was clearing her throat, but sort of sounded like she was gurgling water too...hard to explain really. Katherine asked me what that noise was and I said, "that was just Em."
Seconds later, my bed started to shake. I immediately jumped out of bed and went to Emily was was shaking rather violently and, for all intents and purposes, unconscious. Her eyes were open but mostly rolling back in to her head and she was drooling. I rolled her onto her side thinking she might be going to vomit. I called her name(yelled it actually) a couple of times with no response and immediately called 911. I kept trying to call Emily and when the shaking finally subsided(seemed like forever but it really only lasted for maybe 1 to 2 minutes) she was just staring in to nothing. Her eyes were on me but it was like she was looking right through me. I kept calling her, saying her name asking who I was, and at the same time running around my bedroom getting myself and Katherine dressed, calling my mother to come take Katherine for me, and calling Ryun to tell him what was going on and to meet us at the hospital. At one point, just before the ambulance arrived, I managed to get her to mumble "mama" but it was incomprehensible and if I hadn't been asking her to say it, I wouldn't have even known what she was trying to convey.
The medic came in and by this time, she was starting to come back around a little, but still not quite back to reality. He gave her a quick once over in the bedroom(checking her pupils which were completely blown, having her stick her tongue out and checking to see if she wet herself, which she had not). The EMT came in with a stretcher and took her outside.
When we got outside, the police officer that came with them asked me a few questions(her name date of birth etc) and when I turned back around to the stretcher, Emily was fully awake and crying. I don't think I have ever seen her so scared in my life...and I can't explain in words how that made me feel. I of course went right over to her and told her she was okay and that we were going to go (together) in the ambulance to the doctor. My neighbor took Katherine for me until my mother arrived(about five minutes later or so). While in the ambulance, before we left, the medic started an iv(just in case she had another episode on the way...with the iv in place they could medicate her immediately). She was still pretty upset but I kept rubbing her head and telling her she was ok and that "Mama was right here and not going to go anywhere."
She started to calm down about 5 minutes into the ride and was definitely coming back to reality.
After she was settled and the iv was all set, the medic asked me a few questions(name, birthday, insurance etc) and she was trying to answer every question. I knew for sure when she started talking she was back to being my Emily.
And I was never, ever so thankful in my entire life.
When we got to the ER, they drew blood, took x-rays, gave her a CT, and a quick once over to see if she had any obvious signs of illness(rash, bug bite etc). When checking her ears, the doctor was beyond shocked that she had not been complaining of ear pain. In a nutshell, her ear had just about the worst infection the doctor had ever seen. She had a slight fever.
The blood work and CT came back fine but her chest X-ray showed a small case of pneumonia. She had been coughing for a few days with no other cold symptoms at all...not even a runny nose so the pneumonia diagnosis was rather shocking as well.
Because they still could not identify any real cause for her having a seizure, they wanted to consult with her pediatrician. He wasn't on, so they talked to another pediatrician in the practice, who recommended that she go home, be seen in the office tomorrow(which is now today) and at that time be scheduled for an outpatient EEG.
Before they had consulted with him, they started her on an iv with a medicine called "Rocephin" to help clear up the ear infection/pneumonia). About ten minutes after they started it, Emily started to complain that she was itchy. I lifted her shirt and the poor kid had hives all over her back and chest. She was allergic to the medication. The doctor/nurse came in and gave her Benedryl and a steroid to stop the reaction and it worked almost immediately. The hives were gone with in minutes. We of course had to stay around for awhile to make sure she was alright and they sent us home with a prescription for a steroid and told us to give her Benedryl every four hours.
We blew up the air mattress and set her up in our room to sleep.
It is now almost four o'clock in the morning and I can't sleep, despite being exhausted after our long day at the hospital. I crashed on the mattress with her and have been waking up every time she moves at all...even just the slightest movement.
I hope that her EEG comes back normal and that the seizure was just a "freak, one-time thing" for her sake of course, and I have to say for mine as well.
I can't explain the fear that was running through my veins when I watched her go through that. She had no idea who I was. She was not responding to me at all. She was shaking so violently that my entire bed was moving.
If I never, ever have to witness that again, I can honestly say I will die a happy woman.
Regular readers know that this was the beginning of what would turn out to be a long process that ended, after EEG's, EKG's, MRI's, blood work, and genetic testing with a diagnosis of a "Tuberous Sclerosis-like" condition. What the above entry does not mention was that at the time all of this was going on, I was just over 8 months pregnant with Julia, and maybe the only pregnant woman in the history of the world who prayed that the baby didn't come early, at least not until things had been figured out with Emily. I had no idea at the time that things really wouldn't ever be figured out. It's an anniversary no doubt, not exactly a happy one to recall but worth mentioning just the same.
On Sunday afternoon/evening, Ryun cleared Emily's room and painted it to match their new furniture/bedding sets that we will be setting up soon. Because the paint was still wet( and the fumes still strong) we set Emily's bed up in Katherine's room for her to sleep in there. They were so excited to have a "slumber party"...it was so cute.
Twice during the night Emily came down to our room...once to go to the bathroom(there is one in the hallway upstairs I think she just wanted to come down and say hi) and once just because. When she asked if she could stay down with us, the first time I said, "No, go ahead back upstairs...Katherine might be sad if she wakes up and doesn't see you there for your slumber party." She was fine with that and went back up. A few hours later( around 5:00 am or so) she came back and asked if she could stay again. I said the same thing about Katherine being sad but at the end I said, "It's your choice though...you can stay if you want to."
Thank God she did.
When Emily came down the last time, Ryun was just getting up to leave for work. She jumped in to his spot in bed and started asking me all kinds of questions...What time is it? How many minutes until we get up? Do I start swimming lessons today? I answered her and finally said, "Ok Em, it is time to go to sleep."
At about 8:00(Katherine had come down about 1/2 hour earlier when she woke up) she and I were lying down in bed talking quietly when Emily made this noise that kind of sounded like she was clearing her throat, but sort of sounded like she was gurgling water too...hard to explain really. Katherine asked me what that noise was and I said, "that was just Em."
Seconds later, my bed started to shake. I immediately jumped out of bed and went to Emily was was shaking rather violently and, for all intents and purposes, unconscious. Her eyes were open but mostly rolling back in to her head and she was drooling. I rolled her onto her side thinking she might be going to vomit. I called her name(yelled it actually) a couple of times with no response and immediately called 911. I kept trying to call Emily and when the shaking finally subsided(seemed like forever but it really only lasted for maybe 1 to 2 minutes) she was just staring in to nothing. Her eyes were on me but it was like she was looking right through me. I kept calling her, saying her name asking who I was, and at the same time running around my bedroom getting myself and Katherine dressed, calling my mother to come take Katherine for me, and calling Ryun to tell him what was going on and to meet us at the hospital. At one point, just before the ambulance arrived, I managed to get her to mumble "mama" but it was incomprehensible and if I hadn't been asking her to say it, I wouldn't have even known what she was trying to convey.
The medic came in and by this time, she was starting to come back around a little, but still not quite back to reality. He gave her a quick once over in the bedroom(checking her pupils which were completely blown, having her stick her tongue out and checking to see if she wet herself, which she had not). The EMT came in with a stretcher and took her outside.
When we got outside, the police officer that came with them asked me a few questions(her name date of birth etc) and when I turned back around to the stretcher, Emily was fully awake and crying. I don't think I have ever seen her so scared in my life...and I can't explain in words how that made me feel. I of course went right over to her and told her she was okay and that we were going to go (together) in the ambulance to the doctor. My neighbor took Katherine for me until my mother arrived(about five minutes later or so). While in the ambulance, before we left, the medic started an iv(just in case she had another episode on the way...with the iv in place they could medicate her immediately). She was still pretty upset but I kept rubbing her head and telling her she was ok and that "Mama was right here and not going to go anywhere."
She started to calm down about 5 minutes into the ride and was definitely coming back to reality.
After she was settled and the iv was all set, the medic asked me a few questions(name, birthday, insurance etc) and she was trying to answer every question. I knew for sure when she started talking she was back to being my Emily.
And I was never, ever so thankful in my entire life.
When we got to the ER, they drew blood, took x-rays, gave her a CT, and a quick once over to see if she had any obvious signs of illness(rash, bug bite etc). When checking her ears, the doctor was beyond shocked that she had not been complaining of ear pain. In a nutshell, her ear had just about the worst infection the doctor had ever seen. She had a slight fever.
The blood work and CT came back fine but her chest X-ray showed a small case of pneumonia. She had been coughing for a few days with no other cold symptoms at all...not even a runny nose so the pneumonia diagnosis was rather shocking as well.
Because they still could not identify any real cause for her having a seizure, they wanted to consult with her pediatrician. He wasn't on, so they talked to another pediatrician in the practice, who recommended that she go home, be seen in the office tomorrow(which is now today) and at that time be scheduled for an outpatient EEG.
Before they had consulted with him, they started her on an iv with a medicine called "Rocephin" to help clear up the ear infection/pneumonia). About ten minutes after they started it, Emily started to complain that she was itchy. I lifted her shirt and the poor kid had hives all over her back and chest. She was allergic to the medication. The doctor/nurse came in and gave her Benedryl and a steroid to stop the reaction and it worked almost immediately. The hives were gone with in minutes. We of course had to stay around for awhile to make sure she was alright and they sent us home with a prescription for a steroid and told us to give her Benedryl every four hours.
We blew up the air mattress and set her up in our room to sleep.
It is now almost four o'clock in the morning and I can't sleep, despite being exhausted after our long day at the hospital. I crashed on the mattress with her and have been waking up every time she moves at all...even just the slightest movement.
I hope that her EEG comes back normal and that the seizure was just a "freak, one-time thing" for her sake of course, and I have to say for mine as well.
I can't explain the fear that was running through my veins when I watched her go through that. She had no idea who I was. She was not responding to me at all. She was shaking so violently that my entire bed was moving.
If I never, ever have to witness that again, I can honestly say I will die a happy woman.
Regular readers know that this was the beginning of what would turn out to be a long process that ended, after EEG's, EKG's, MRI's, blood work, and genetic testing with a diagnosis of a "Tuberous Sclerosis-like" condition. What the above entry does not mention was that at the time all of this was going on, I was just over 8 months pregnant with Julia, and maybe the only pregnant woman in the history of the world who prayed that the baby didn't come early, at least not until things had been figured out with Emily. I had no idea at the time that things really wouldn't ever be figured out. It's an anniversary no doubt, not exactly a happy one to recall but worth mentioning just the same.
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Happy Birthday Emily!
For those who may not understand how fast time passes...I swear this first picture was taken just the other day...
...not 13 years ago!
Seriously though? Happy Birthday to my oldest daughter Emily!
...not 13 years ago!
Seriously though? Happy Birthday to my oldest daughter Emily!
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Today is a new day...
...and thank God for that. It amazes me the difference a day can make.
So the insurance thing kind or worked it self out...not in the best way it could of but better than nothing. We will have the "good" insurance plan from Ryun's union for at least the next month and maybe beyond. So yesterday? I made five dentist appointments (one for each member of the family), two eye doctor appointments (one for Emily and one for me) one appointment with my counselor, and two well check visits with the pediatrician (one for Emily and one for Katherine). All taking place during the month of June. Hello busy month!
Today is already shaping up to be a better day...I feel better, I have lunch plans with my sister and nephew and then I have Julia's kindergarten concert. I can't wait to hear her and her classmates sing! Tonight I will be at the school committee meeting on behalf of the MECC School Council, presenting the school improvement plan to the School Committee.
Yay for a busy but fun day!
So the insurance thing kind or worked it self out...not in the best way it could of but better than nothing. We will have the "good" insurance plan from Ryun's union for at least the next month and maybe beyond. So yesterday? I made five dentist appointments (one for each member of the family), two eye doctor appointments (one for Emily and one for me) one appointment with my counselor, and two well check visits with the pediatrician (one for Emily and one for Katherine). All taking place during the month of June. Hello busy month!
Today is already shaping up to be a better day...I feel better, I have lunch plans with my sister and nephew and then I have Julia's kindergarten concert. I can't wait to hear her and her classmates sing! Tonight I will be at the school committee meeting on behalf of the MECC School Council, presenting the school improvement plan to the School Committee.
Yay for a busy but fun day!
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Health Update: Emily
I have survived another trip in to the hell that is driving in Boston. Every trip to and from Children's reminds me of just how much of a "country" girl I am. Boston has too much of everything, first and foremost being people, followed closely by cars, buildings, traffic lights, and idiots that don't know the difference between a walk/don't walk signal.
Something else a visit to Children's always reminds me of is just how lucky we are. Sure, Emily has her medical troubles but, all told, her issues pale in comparison to what other children and parents are dealing with. It is depressing to see really but it sure helps put things in to perspective.
Emily has not had a seizure for coming up on six years and has not been medicated for three. Mostly, she is followed now for the treatment of ADHD/Executive Function Disorder and of course, just to make sure that she isn't having seizures. I have a feeling if, when she had her MRI and genetic testing a number of years ago, the results of both had been normal,we wouldn't have to continue seeing her neurologist and any medication for her other concerns could be handled through her primary care. Because she has two strikes against her so to speak (an abnormality in the frontal lobes of her brain and a genetic mutation in the TSC II gene), she continues to be seen by her neurologist.
Her appointment went well. We (Emily and I) discussed at length her troubles at school. I really felt that Emily should be very much involved with the discussion. Obviously she knows best what is going on and what she thinks is working/not working. I also feel like she is old enough to have a voice in some of the decisions being made about her. I explained to him that the medicine he had prescribed her seemed to help but that it was causing drastic mood swings(more so than what would be consider normal for an almost 13 year old girl anyway). This was confirmed when she stopped taking it and had dramatic improvements in her mood (thankfully it was the kind of medicine that she could take on a more as needed basis so it could be stopped and started without any trouble). He decided that another medicine may work better but said that she would need to have an EKG. This medicine has been known to effect the results of an EKG so it made sense to have a one first to make sure everything was ok to begin with. Given the diagnosis she also has of a "Tuberous Sclerosis-like" condition, an EKG was also warranted because TSC can cause heart problems due to tumor growth. We were able to head right down to cardiology when we were done which was nice. The results of the EKG came back today and were 100 % normal. If I am being honest here, I was slightly concerned that it wouldn't come back ok; not because she had any indication of heart problems but because of the fact that every other test she has had has not come back with good results (MRI's EKG's and genetic testing). It was a nice change of pace for something to come back ok.
When Emily was originally diagnosed with the TSC-like condition, both the geneticist and the head of the TSC Clinic at Childrens had never seen a case like Emily's. The genetic testing, though indicative of something like TSC was not definitive. Her MRI showed a "Neuron Migration Disorder" which was also something similar to what is seen on an MRI of a patient with TSC but not exact. Besides seizures and obvious problems with executive function and attention, she showed no other signs of TSC, such as developmental delay or tumor growth. At the time, the head of the TSC Clinic recommended that he see Emily in a few years to see if anything had changed with her specifically and also to see if he had come across anyone "like her" in the time that has passed. It has actually been more than a few years (5 to be exact) so we made the appointment to meet with him while we were there yesterday. As a side note, there was no surprise here when the director of the TS Clinic at one of the foremost children's hospitals in the world told me that Emily was one of a kind. I knew that already!
So, we have two appointments in October on two different days...one with the director of the TS Clinic and her regular checkup with her neurologist (sadly, we were not able to coordinate it all for the same day).
To end this on a less serious note, while talking with the doctor about the genetic mutation in her TSC II gene, Emily heard the word, "mutation" only and said, "Cool! I am a mutant!"
Something else a visit to Children's always reminds me of is just how lucky we are. Sure, Emily has her medical troubles but, all told, her issues pale in comparison to what other children and parents are dealing with. It is depressing to see really but it sure helps put things in to perspective.
Emily has not had a seizure for coming up on six years and has not been medicated for three. Mostly, she is followed now for the treatment of ADHD/Executive Function Disorder and of course, just to make sure that she isn't having seizures. I have a feeling if, when she had her MRI and genetic testing a number of years ago, the results of both had been normal,we wouldn't have to continue seeing her neurologist and any medication for her other concerns could be handled through her primary care. Because she has two strikes against her so to speak (an abnormality in the frontal lobes of her brain and a genetic mutation in the TSC II gene), she continues to be seen by her neurologist.
Her appointment went well. We (Emily and I) discussed at length her troubles at school. I really felt that Emily should be very much involved with the discussion. Obviously she knows best what is going on and what she thinks is working/not working. I also feel like she is old enough to have a voice in some of the decisions being made about her. I explained to him that the medicine he had prescribed her seemed to help but that it was causing drastic mood swings(more so than what would be consider normal for an almost 13 year old girl anyway). This was confirmed when she stopped taking it and had dramatic improvements in her mood (thankfully it was the kind of medicine that she could take on a more as needed basis so it could be stopped and started without any trouble). He decided that another medicine may work better but said that she would need to have an EKG. This medicine has been known to effect the results of an EKG so it made sense to have a one first to make sure everything was ok to begin with. Given the diagnosis she also has of a "Tuberous Sclerosis-like" condition, an EKG was also warranted because TSC can cause heart problems due to tumor growth. We were able to head right down to cardiology when we were done which was nice. The results of the EKG came back today and were 100 % normal. If I am being honest here, I was slightly concerned that it wouldn't come back ok; not because she had any indication of heart problems but because of the fact that every other test she has had has not come back with good results (MRI's EKG's and genetic testing). It was a nice change of pace for something to come back ok.
When Emily was originally diagnosed with the TSC-like condition, both the geneticist and the head of the TSC Clinic at Childrens had never seen a case like Emily's. The genetic testing, though indicative of something like TSC was not definitive. Her MRI showed a "Neuron Migration Disorder" which was also something similar to what is seen on an MRI of a patient with TSC but not exact. Besides seizures and obvious problems with executive function and attention, she showed no other signs of TSC, such as developmental delay or tumor growth. At the time, the head of the TSC Clinic recommended that he see Emily in a few years to see if anything had changed with her specifically and also to see if he had come across anyone "like her" in the time that has passed. It has actually been more than a few years (5 to be exact) so we made the appointment to meet with him while we were there yesterday. As a side note, there was no surprise here when the director of the TS Clinic at one of the foremost children's hospitals in the world told me that Emily was one of a kind. I knew that already!
So, we have two appointments in October on two different days...one with the director of the TS Clinic and her regular checkup with her neurologist (sadly, we were not able to coordinate it all for the same day).
To end this on a less serious note, while talking with the doctor about the genetic mutation in her TSC II gene, Emily heard the word, "mutation" only and said, "Cool! I am a mutant!"
Thursday, May 6, 2010
I'd Like To Know Where You Got The Notion
Sometimes I like my don't rock the boat attitude, sometimes I don't.
A situation has come up with Emily at school that clearly requires my attention. I have already begun addressing it and have every confidence that I will see it through but, in typical "Shazzy style" I am dreading what has yet to come; more than likely getting myself all worked up and anxious for no reason at all. I have no idea why I do this to myself consistently. I suppose it would make sense to share the story.
Emily came home from school yesterday and said, "Mom, I don't feel like I am being counted in Mrs. Teacher's class." It took me a while to respond. I was to busy saying to myself, "Wow...did my daughter just say that? How...profound." I don't need to worry about Emily's ability to put her feelings in to words. Clearly, she has mastered that art. When I asked her to elaborate, she went on to say that Mrs. Teacher had told her that she was missing three assignments, three assignments which Emily had indeed done and remembered passing in. After looking further, one assignment was found in the teachers things and one was hanging on display in the classroom. Both had Emily's name on them. One assignment is still MIA. Standalone, this situation is not ok. Coupled with a little history and Emily's general feelings about her relationship with the teacher, this situation is serious.
Emily's grade in science last term was, well, not indicative of what she is capable of. A big part of her grade was the fact that she had six missing assignments. If I am being honest here, I should share that disorganization and forgetfulness are Emily's biggest struggles in school. This is really an entirely different entry but for now suffice it to say that Emily having six assignments missing, while it seemed a bit excessive was not exactly shocking. When I spoke with her teacher at parent/teacher conferences last term, her teacher mentioned that she was missing a couple of labs, but that she could come during directed study to make them up. Emily was insistent that she had done them the first time but that she would go do them again during study. When I questioned her at the time, she indicated that she had gone and made up the labs as she was supposed to. While I don't know for sure that the missing work at the time included the labs that she had made up, there were labs listed as missing on the report her teacher sent home before report cards with her grade on it.
So herein lies the problem. There were some questions regarding whether or not work was indeed missing last term. This term there is actual proof (in the form of the papers that the teacher found after the fact) that Emily followed through; brought the work home, did it and turned it in. This is seriously a HUGE achievement for Emily. Instead of feeling proud of herself and perhaps building off of that, she was questioned about whether or not the work had been done and as it turns out, it was actually the teacher who was a disorganized mess for a change. On many levels, this is unacceptable.
The first thing that comes to mind is the lesson this teaches Emily. For a moment in time, as fleeting as it may have been for her, she did it...from start to finish. The step by step process that starts in the classroom when the assignment is handed out and ends in classroom when she turns the assignment may seem like a no brainer to some. For Emily it is the root of every difficulty she has ever had at school. I do not think I can stress enough how significant this is. So she actually does everything she is supposed to do and almost doesn't get credit for it? This is not the message I want Emily to receive.
I am trying to picture the scenario in which a teacher could actually have a paper in hand and not give credit where it is due...not once, but twice and possibly three times. Did she go through the papers, not see Emily's at first and just assume that because Emily hadn't turned in assignments in the past that maybe she hadn't in these instances? Was it perhaps more malicious than that? And really, how does this happen on multiple occasions?
While the assignments were blatantly obvious indications of Emily feelings of not being counted, there have been other, not so clear cut examples of these feelings being confirmed. She has said many times that she has said that she didn't think Mrs. Teacher liked her. On a number of occasions, Emily has said that she has been accused of talking when she wasn't. There was also an instance in which the kids were working in small groups reading aloud and the teacher told Emily to stop talking when she was in fact reading as she was supposed to be. While it is true that Emily has been talking at inappropriate times in the past, I get the feeling (as does Emily) that certain things are being assumed of her that are not based in fact and only based on past experiences. Yes she hasn't turned in homework before and yes, she has talked when she shouldn't have. This does not mean that every time a situation comes up, she will be at fault. What kind of message does this kind of treatment send to Emily? It's not a good one, I can tell you that.
I spoke with the guidance counselor this morning. When Emily gets home I will be asking her if she would like to take part in the meeting I will be scheduling with the guidance counselor and Mrs. Teacher. I can certainly advocate on her behalf but, I also see extreme benefit in her advocating for herself right beside me. After discussing this with Emily, I will be following up with the guidance counselor tomorrow to schedule a meeting.
These are examples from Emily's point of view but I have no reason to doubt that what she is saying to me is true. I will still listen to the teacher's side when I have the opportunity to discuss this with her. I know there are two sides to every story and if nothing else, I am willing to hear hers. I am not one to rush to judgment by any means, but, until I hear the teacher's perspective and have the chance to perhaps look at this from another point of view, I am going to go with my intuition here and say that something isn't right.
A situation has come up with Emily at school that clearly requires my attention. I have already begun addressing it and have every confidence that I will see it through but, in typical "Shazzy style" I am dreading what has yet to come; more than likely getting myself all worked up and anxious for no reason at all. I have no idea why I do this to myself consistently. I suppose it would make sense to share the story.
Emily came home from school yesterday and said, "Mom, I don't feel like I am being counted in Mrs. Teacher's class." It took me a while to respond. I was to busy saying to myself, "Wow...did my daughter just say that? How...profound." I don't need to worry about Emily's ability to put her feelings in to words. Clearly, she has mastered that art. When I asked her to elaborate, she went on to say that Mrs. Teacher had told her that she was missing three assignments, three assignments which Emily had indeed done and remembered passing in. After looking further, one assignment was found in the teachers things and one was hanging on display in the classroom. Both had Emily's name on them. One assignment is still MIA. Standalone, this situation is not ok. Coupled with a little history and Emily's general feelings about her relationship with the teacher, this situation is serious.
Emily's grade in science last term was, well, not indicative of what she is capable of. A big part of her grade was the fact that she had six missing assignments. If I am being honest here, I should share that disorganization and forgetfulness are Emily's biggest struggles in school. This is really an entirely different entry but for now suffice it to say that Emily having six assignments missing, while it seemed a bit excessive was not exactly shocking. When I spoke with her teacher at parent/teacher conferences last term, her teacher mentioned that she was missing a couple of labs, but that she could come during directed study to make them up. Emily was insistent that she had done them the first time but that she would go do them again during study. When I questioned her at the time, she indicated that she had gone and made up the labs as she was supposed to. While I don't know for sure that the missing work at the time included the labs that she had made up, there were labs listed as missing on the report her teacher sent home before report cards with her grade on it.
So herein lies the problem. There were some questions regarding whether or not work was indeed missing last term. This term there is actual proof (in the form of the papers that the teacher found after the fact) that Emily followed through; brought the work home, did it and turned it in. This is seriously a HUGE achievement for Emily. Instead of feeling proud of herself and perhaps building off of that, she was questioned about whether or not the work had been done and as it turns out, it was actually the teacher who was a disorganized mess for a change. On many levels, this is unacceptable.
The first thing that comes to mind is the lesson this teaches Emily. For a moment in time, as fleeting as it may have been for her, she did it...from start to finish. The step by step process that starts in the classroom when the assignment is handed out and ends in classroom when she turns the assignment may seem like a no brainer to some. For Emily it is the root of every difficulty she has ever had at school. I do not think I can stress enough how significant this is. So she actually does everything she is supposed to do and almost doesn't get credit for it? This is not the message I want Emily to receive.
I am trying to picture the scenario in which a teacher could actually have a paper in hand and not give credit where it is due...not once, but twice and possibly three times. Did she go through the papers, not see Emily's at first and just assume that because Emily hadn't turned in assignments in the past that maybe she hadn't in these instances? Was it perhaps more malicious than that? And really, how does this happen on multiple occasions?
While the assignments were blatantly obvious indications of Emily feelings of not being counted, there have been other, not so clear cut examples of these feelings being confirmed. She has said many times that she has said that she didn't think Mrs. Teacher liked her. On a number of occasions, Emily has said that she has been accused of talking when she wasn't. There was also an instance in which the kids were working in small groups reading aloud and the teacher told Emily to stop talking when she was in fact reading as she was supposed to be. While it is true that Emily has been talking at inappropriate times in the past, I get the feeling (as does Emily) that certain things are being assumed of her that are not based in fact and only based on past experiences. Yes she hasn't turned in homework before and yes, she has talked when she shouldn't have. This does not mean that every time a situation comes up, she will be at fault. What kind of message does this kind of treatment send to Emily? It's not a good one, I can tell you that.
I spoke with the guidance counselor this morning. When Emily gets home I will be asking her if she would like to take part in the meeting I will be scheduling with the guidance counselor and Mrs. Teacher. I can certainly advocate on her behalf but, I also see extreme benefit in her advocating for herself right beside me. After discussing this with Emily, I will be following up with the guidance counselor tomorrow to schedule a meeting.
These are examples from Emily's point of view but I have no reason to doubt that what she is saying to me is true. I will still listen to the teacher's side when I have the opportunity to discuss this with her. I know there are two sides to every story and if nothing else, I am willing to hear hers. I am not one to rush to judgment by any means, but, until I hear the teacher's perspective and have the chance to perhaps look at this from another point of view, I am going to go with my intuition here and say that something isn't right.
Saturday, April 24, 2010
Get A Grip
You know, I am not one to casually brush aside someone's feelings as if they were inconsequential and didn't matter. I am actually considered by others to be a very good listener and can generally see things from many varied perspectives. I wonder why it is so hard for me to treat myself the same way I would others. I have a feeling it has something to do with needing to be in control...not of others but of myself. It's almost as if an internal light flashes in warning if there is any indication that I might lose it.
Take for example the situation I am in right now. For reasons that I may get in to at some point in another entry, I had to pull out Emily's seizure journal (a complete record of every seizure, test, Dr.'s appointment and blog entry I have ever written in that regard) and the results of neuro-psych testing she had done almost three and a half years ago. Of course, I couldn't just get the needed information out; I had to read it all too. In what I think is a quite natural and appropriate response when I think about it in retrospect, I was teary eyed and my stomach was in knots reading it. So why then does the voice in my head tell me while it is happening to stop being so silly, stop crying, suck it up and get a bleeping grip?
This is just one example of many in which I find myself, unnecessarily trying to keep my emotions in check. I have no idea what this is all about. Thoughts?
Take for example the situation I am in right now. For reasons that I may get in to at some point in another entry, I had to pull out Emily's seizure journal (a complete record of every seizure, test, Dr.'s appointment and blog entry I have ever written in that regard) and the results of neuro-psych testing she had done almost three and a half years ago. Of course, I couldn't just get the needed information out; I had to read it all too. In what I think is a quite natural and appropriate response when I think about it in retrospect, I was teary eyed and my stomach was in knots reading it. So why then does the voice in my head tell me while it is happening to stop being so silly, stop crying, suck it up and get a bleeping grip?
This is just one example of many in which I find myself, unnecessarily trying to keep my emotions in check. I have no idea what this is all about. Thoughts?
Monday, March 29, 2010
Just Because
I have been reading through my archives a lot lately. I love remembering stories I have told and thoughts I have had. I mentioned recently on Facebook that my blog has on occasion served as a reference. Often, if I am having trouble remembering when something happened, I can go back through the archives and figure it out. Anyway, I thought it would be fun to go back and see what I was thinking or doing roughly a year ago today. Not a lot of blogging happened in March of 2009 but, I did come up with this funny story regarding Emily and her math test.
October of 2010 will mark 9 years of blogging for me...9 years of my life documented here and in other incarnations of My Life In Words. While I have taken some lengthy breaks (I think the longest of which was 4 months) I can't ever imagine not blogging. This truly as been a wonderful outlet, and one I can not imagine my life without.
October of 2010 will mark 9 years of blogging for me...9 years of my life documented here and in other incarnations of My Life In Words. While I have taken some lengthy breaks (I think the longest of which was 4 months) I can't ever imagine not blogging. This truly as been a wonderful outlet, and one I can not imagine my life without.
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Over Dinner
Tonight's dinner table conversation -
Katherine (in a joking manner after being silly): What would life be like with out me?
Emily: Normal.
Katherine: Yeah, but normal is boring!
I love my Katherine! : )
Saturday, March 27, 2010
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Being Mom
Sometimes, I have no idea what I am doing when it comes to raising my (almost) teen aged daughter.
Has anyone else ever looked in the mirror or replayed a conversation in your head and wondered afterward if alien forces had somehow invaded and somehow made you say what you said? Or wondered if alien forces had invaded your child and done the same thing? I seem to be having moments like these more often than not. I can't tell you how many times I have said to myself, "Did that really just happen?"
Someone once told me that ages 12-14 were the worst age bracket in regard to mother/daughter relationships. I am beginning to see why that's true. Clearly, I can't do or say anything right. I am also being nosy and overbearing when offering my help in a situation in which she is clearly struggling (no matter that she said she wanted my help to begin with).
I am having a hard time letting go. She is having a hard time remembering that a little more independence comes with age but, some of that independence must be earned. Why do kids want to grow up so fast? Sometimes, being an adult is not all it's cracked up to be. You can trust me on this.
It's hard, despite the moments of joy that I found in raising my oldest daughter, not to long for the days when I was all she ever needed and, I could do no wrong.
Has anyone else ever looked in the mirror or replayed a conversation in your head and wondered afterward if alien forces had somehow invaded and somehow made you say what you said? Or wondered if alien forces had invaded your child and done the same thing? I seem to be having moments like these more often than not. I can't tell you how many times I have said to myself, "Did that really just happen?"
Someone once told me that ages 12-14 were the worst age bracket in regard to mother/daughter relationships. I am beginning to see why that's true. Clearly, I can't do or say anything right. I am also being nosy and overbearing when offering my help in a situation in which she is clearly struggling (no matter that she said she wanted my help to begin with).
I am having a hard time letting go. She is having a hard time remembering that a little more independence comes with age but, some of that independence must be earned. Why do kids want to grow up so fast? Sometimes, being an adult is not all it's cracked up to be. You can trust me on this.
It's hard, despite the moments of joy that I found in raising my oldest daughter, not to long for the days when I was all she ever needed and, I could do no wrong.
Saturday, February 27, 2010
"Testing...1...2...3"
"There's a change of clothes in the bottom of your bag in case you get wet."
"Be careful and listen to all the rules...especially the ones the instructors tell you about during your lesson."
"Make sure you keep your money in it's designated spot...your cell phone too."
"Always make sure you are with someone...you know like the buddy system. Never ski alone."
"Remember you only have a specific amount of money and a couple of packed snacks. So if you eat all of your snacks on the way there and you get hungry on the way home, you won't have anything left to eat. Also, make sure you spend your money wisely!"
These comments (and probably a few more I am not remembering), were all made by me to Emily on the way to the school this morning. I had to drop her off bright and early (5:45) so she could catch the bus with student council and go on her first ever ski trip.
This was one of those, "Oh my God I am a Mom" moments and a "Oh my God I sound like my Mom" moments all rolled in to one.
In replaying this in my head, I wonder just how annoying I must have sounded to Emily. Probably very I am guessing.
When we pulled in to the parking lot she wanted to get out and walk to the bus by herself. I said, "C'mon let me just walk you to the bus." With a quick roll of the eyes she agreed and I did...so what if the bus was parked right in front of the school and I was parked in the front row. She boarded and was on her way.
She's home now and of course, she's fine. She didn't lose a single thing and only has one bruise from a fall in which her ski somehow ended up coming in to contact with her hip. She came home with no money (which was ok) and according to her account, she managed to spread it out and make it last.
I am wondering if she would have come home the same way if I didn't say any of what I said.
I don't often second guess myself when it comes to these types of things and I am not really doing that now either. Even if saying what I said only benefited me and had no bearing on her day at all, saying it made me feel better. I am sure, sometime way down the line (perhaps when she is having a moment like this with her own child) she will look back and realize my motivation was purely out of love and concern for her.
Still, I can totally relate to how difficult it can be being the oldest child and I told her that this morning. I explained how she was more than likely going to be the first to do many things and because she was the first, she would probably have to endure more of the parental worry and concern than her sisters. Of course the concern will be there for each child as the venture off in to independence but as most parents know, once one child does something and does it successfully, the nerves and concern lessen and each successive child will have to endure it less. She seemed to understand this.
It's during times like these that I am amazed by how life comes full circle. I could swear it was just the other day when I was having conversations like this with my own mother.
"Be careful and listen to all the rules...especially the ones the instructors tell you about during your lesson."
"Make sure you keep your money in it's designated spot...your cell phone too."
"Always make sure you are with someone...you know like the buddy system. Never ski alone."
"Remember you only have a specific amount of money and a couple of packed snacks. So if you eat all of your snacks on the way there and you get hungry on the way home, you won't have anything left to eat. Also, make sure you spend your money wisely!"
These comments (and probably a few more I am not remembering), were all made by me to Emily on the way to the school this morning. I had to drop her off bright and early (5:45) so she could catch the bus with student council and go on her first ever ski trip.
This was one of those, "Oh my God I am a Mom" moments and a "Oh my God I sound like my Mom" moments all rolled in to one.
In replaying this in my head, I wonder just how annoying I must have sounded to Emily. Probably very I am guessing.
When we pulled in to the parking lot she wanted to get out and walk to the bus by herself. I said, "C'mon let me just walk you to the bus." With a quick roll of the eyes she agreed and I did...so what if the bus was parked right in front of the school and I was parked in the front row. She boarded and was on her way.
She's home now and of course, she's fine. She didn't lose a single thing and only has one bruise from a fall in which her ski somehow ended up coming in to contact with her hip. She came home with no money (which was ok) and according to her account, she managed to spread it out and make it last.
I am wondering if she would have come home the same way if I didn't say any of what I said.
I don't often second guess myself when it comes to these types of things and I am not really doing that now either. Even if saying what I said only benefited me and had no bearing on her day at all, saying it made me feel better. I am sure, sometime way down the line (perhaps when she is having a moment like this with her own child) she will look back and realize my motivation was purely out of love and concern for her.
Still, I can totally relate to how difficult it can be being the oldest child and I told her that this morning. I explained how she was more than likely going to be the first to do many things and because she was the first, she would probably have to endure more of the parental worry and concern than her sisters. Of course the concern will be there for each child as the venture off in to independence but as most parents know, once one child does something and does it successfully, the nerves and concern lessen and each successive child will have to endure it less. She seemed to understand this.
It's during times like these that I am amazed by how life comes full circle. I could swear it was just the other day when I was having conversations like this with my own mother.
Thursday, October 15, 2009
So...
...I was going to sort through winter clothes today; washing what will still fit the girls and bagging up for donation the rest. Then, I thought, "Hmmm, Emily would love to help me with this massive undertaking (three kids=a lot of clothes). Maybe we can work on it when she gets home from school. Wouldn't it be a great mother-daughter bonding experience?" Yes, clearly I am looking for any excuse to get out of doing it right now, though I do think Emily would really enjoy helping (imagine that...a tween actually enjoying helping her mother with a chore). The boxes have been down from the attic for weeks now, just waiting to be sorted through and Emily has asked a number of times when I would be going through them.
Speaking of Emily, tonight is parent teacher conferences. Of course I am going to go but basically? Every parent teacher conference I have ever had for Emily has gone like this: "She is so bright, she is doing well, and she participates in class but she really needs to get organized. She doesn't always have what she needs and sometimes can't find things." I doubt these will be any different. So tonight, even though I have all of three minutes to chat with each teacher, I am going to see if they have any suggestions for her and I to take in to consideration. It might require a separate meeting to discuss at length, which is fine. I just don't have any more ideas.
Speaking of Emily, tonight is parent teacher conferences. Of course I am going to go but basically? Every parent teacher conference I have ever had for Emily has gone like this: "She is so bright, she is doing well, and she participates in class but she really needs to get organized. She doesn't always have what she needs and sometimes can't find things." I doubt these will be any different. So tonight, even though I have all of three minutes to chat with each teacher, I am going to see if they have any suggestions for her and I to take in to consideration. It might require a separate meeting to discuss at length, which is fine. I just don't have any more ideas.
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Responsibility...Where Does Mine End?
How much responsibility do I need to take for Emily's school work and lack of organization skills? How much reminding do I need to do? How much correcting do I need to do? How much is too much? How much is too little?
She's 12. She has ADHD. She's not hyper...just disorganized (more so than the average kid) and slightly impulsive. And, the poor child has a mother who has OCD when it comes to these kinds of things. Nothing is ever in it's correct folder, her locker looks like a tornado blew through and she is frequently missing things she needs for class or homework. Still, to her credit, she's quite smart...perhaps in ways that go beyond her years. Her grades don't generally reflect her disorganization. Most of the time (with Math being the exception) she gets all A's and B's. Disorganization aside, Math is hard for her and if anyone can relate to that, it's me. So my line of thinking is two fold; if she was organized and "together" would she be getting all A's (and really in the scheme of life how important is that?) and, if she can be a disorganized mess and still be successful, does it even matter to begin with?
The bottom line is that I am thinking that it is time for the responsibility to shift a bit. Clearly my nagging and reminding do nothing to help the situation and all suggestions and accommodations we have tried don't appear to work. Trying to get her organized and together causes more arguments and stress than I think is worth it, especially given the fact that the it doesn't appear to be helping get her organized. Emily is old enough to understand consequences. Maybe it's time for me to step back, and just let the natural consequences of her situation take the spotlight? Thoughts?
She's 12. She has ADHD. She's not hyper...just disorganized (more so than the average kid) and slightly impulsive. And, the poor child has a mother who has OCD when it comes to these kinds of things. Nothing is ever in it's correct folder, her locker looks like a tornado blew through and she is frequently missing things she needs for class or homework. Still, to her credit, she's quite smart...perhaps in ways that go beyond her years. Her grades don't generally reflect her disorganization. Most of the time (with Math being the exception) she gets all A's and B's. Disorganization aside, Math is hard for her and if anyone can relate to that, it's me. So my line of thinking is two fold; if she was organized and "together" would she be getting all A's (and really in the scheme of life how important is that?) and, if she can be a disorganized mess and still be successful, does it even matter to begin with?
The bottom line is that I am thinking that it is time for the responsibility to shift a bit. Clearly my nagging and reminding do nothing to help the situation and all suggestions and accommodations we have tried don't appear to work. Trying to get her organized and together causes more arguments and stress than I think is worth it, especially given the fact that the it doesn't appear to be helping get her organized. Emily is old enough to understand consequences. Maybe it's time for me to step back, and just let the natural consequences of her situation take the spotlight? Thoughts?
Monday, October 5, 2009
Karma
So, after all of the hemming and hawing I did about jury duty, a sick child got me out of it...until next Tuesday that is. Emily is home with me today with various complaints of pain, and a cough to go with it. She definitely seems a bit off and is fairly mellow. Is it terrible for me to say that she is much easier to deal with when she is sick? Probably, but it's true. She's too mellow to be the dramatic preteen that she usually is, too tired to be fresh, and too blah to give that famous eye roll. of course, I do hope she feels better soon!
As much as I hated the idea of jury duty, I was sort of looking forward to getting it over with. I am also not sure what to do with myself today now that I have the day off. Work is always an option, as are PTA things, fall decorating, laundry, housecleaning etc. I am pretty spontaneous but I do have to say when my plan or the day is changed, it kind of throws me off kilter. I am sure I will figure something out.
Anyway, off to it...whatever it is!
As much as I hated the idea of jury duty, I was sort of looking forward to getting it over with. I am also not sure what to do with myself today now that I have the day off. Work is always an option, as are PTA things, fall decorating, laundry, housecleaning etc. I am pretty spontaneous but I do have to say when my plan or the day is changed, it kind of throws me off kilter. I am sure I will figure something out.
Anyway, off to it...whatever it is!
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Funny
The other day, Julia came in to my office and said, "Mom, when I turn 11, are you all going to die?" I responded no of course, but asked her why she wanted to know. She said, "Because Emily total me that when I turn 11, I will be so old that you guys are "just going to die.""
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