Sometimes I think I am...

...read this entry and then you fill in the blank. Interactive blogging is so fun!

Anyway, here's the thing. I have been feeling a little off kilter lately. Nothing major mind you(so family, don't get all paranoid and worried about me), just "not right." I have certainly felt this way before as it tends to come and go but, it seems that each time it get increasingly intense, or just more alarming in general.

I am not really sure how to explain it exactly. It's sort of like I have a mind full of these incredible ideas, and I can't implement a single one (or I start to and then don't finish). I also have huge problems with attention and distraction at some points. I will sit down, for example, at my desk with a very clear idea of what it is I want to do, and then go off and do everything but what I had intended. Alternatively, I also seem to go through these fits where I am "high" on motivation and energy (like last week when I, on a whim that struck just 1/2 hour before Emily and Katherine were going to be home, I decided to tear down the computer desk, consolidate everything in to the existing desk, and reconfigure the entire office). The feeling behind doing this is "I have to do this right this very minute" and it was intense. During these fits of energy and motivation, I generally don't use it to my advantage and try to get some of the stuff done that I need to get done; it usually results in some of the wall idea that really isn't a necessity, but again comes with the intense, "I must do this right now feeling." At other times, I feel like the least energetic and motivated person in the world, and save everything for the last minute. "If it weren't for the last minute, nothing would ever get done" seems to be my mantra during these times. Using the Entertainment book project as an example, I have to have them sorted, delivered and ready to go (as well as tallied as far as sales etc) by October 11th, which is the next PTA meeting, or, at the very latest, October 19th, which is when I will be meeting with the Entertainment rep to finalize everything. I have had the books and orders here for days now and haven't touched them. It's an enormous project (there are a total of 1,850 students in the elementary schools) and what will probably end up happening is that, instead of spreading the work out over the next week or two, I will stay up until ungodly hours, finishing it, just in the nick of time. I seem to function this way; but it seems mentally unhealthy as it reduces my sleep intake by drastic amounts and allows for no leeway or mistakes to be made, as there will be no time to correct it. There are of course other things, but, for the sake of well, my sanity remaining intact, I am just not going to talk about them here (and please, for the love of God, don't ask...I am fine really).

I have, what I think is a pretty good idea of what this is but, what do you think? Don't be shy, I won't be mad!

Disclaimer: Please excuse all the side notes regarding family not getting paranoid and not asking. This entry is one reason why I sometimes wish I had anonymity here.