Reason Number...

...(aww, hell, I've lost count) why I should homeschool.

There are many reasons, that become clearer with each passing day why I wish I had what it took to homeschool. I know I don't have it (the structure, the patience etc) so instead, I send my kids to the only other affordable (well free actually) alternative...public school.

Before I get in to it, let me just say that I wish the feds would just but the hell out of everything related to education and let local school boards just take over. Uncle Sam just places to many rules, standards and regulations on issues surrounding education and the teachers have to spend more time adhering to these stupidities than spending actual quality time teaching. Unfortunately, I don't see the federal government backing out any time soon (if ever) so for now, I will just continue to be involved, continue to advocate for my children, and hope that someday they (the government not my kids) figure out just what the hell they're doing (a girl can dream can't she)?

Ok, I am getting off of my soapbox now.

Moving on to the real topic of this post: Emily.

Many people, through comments and email answered my call for help regarding Emily. Most agree that a call to the teacher is in order, some say not to worry about it because she is only in fourth grade and better she makes her mistakes now than later, some say I am a paranoid crazy person who needs to back the hell off and shut up (ok...so I am exaggerating a little on that last one). There were a variety of opinions is what I am trying to say.

So, I thought it was high time I shared mine.

First off, let me just say I do not think this is normal behavior for a child of her age, whatever normal is anyway. Forgetting your homework or agenda or glasses once in a while, or even once a week? Yeah that might be normal. Forgetting one or the other every day with or without constant reminders (I have considered the fact that my constant harping on her about this might in fact cause her to forget so for kicks, I have tried not to remind her...reverse psychology and all that)? I am sorry, that just isn't normal. Not to sound all cheap here either, but her glasses are bleeping expensive and she is on pair 4 since getting them last February. Yeah, yeah, I know kids lose things, but showing just a little responsibility is not asking too much.

I think I mentioned in my last entry that she was not going to "fail out of fourth grade" if she forgot her agenda. To me though, the lesson being taught by bringing it home for me to sign and actually being rewarded by her teacher for doing so is just as important. It's all about responsibility, and the older she gets, the harder it will be to teach. It's still shocking to me that she is unable to do this, even with a known reward, a reward that she herself has said she would love to get.

Her homework is another story all together. To point this out from the start, I don't believe in homework. They spend their day in school, only 40 minutes of which is spent as "down time" (lunch and recess). Their time at home should be spent with the family, not with school work. That's just my opinion but, she does get homework and it does count toward her grades, so she has to do it. Forgetting it or not bringing home the paper that tells us what is due when is just not acceptable. I know that it will be she that suffers if her grades are not where she wants them to be so, part of me thinks I should just let her forget the stuff and not say anything about it, to her or her teacher. It's hard though, to watch your kids make mistakes and not do anything about it. I also question whether or not letting her suffer the consequences of her actions in this case will even work to teach her anything. I just don't think getting a "C" or something in Math, due mainly to her forgetting her homework will teach her to remember her homework next time around. Yeah, she will be upset about the "C" for a minute but it won't prevent her from forgetting her homework again. Taking a way recess hasn't even worked.

Emily is the type of kid that needs to be given a strict set of rules that must be followed. She needs to know what the expectations are, and they need to be constantly reiterated for her to even have a chance of remembering them on a daily basis. I am not insulting her, it's just the way she is. I feel like I am doing this (reminding her, telling and showing her what is expected etc)...and still, this is a problem. I have even tried not reminding her etc. And that doesn't work either.

Emily is also the type of kid who is affected very minimally by things such as privileges being taken away or on the flip side, rewards being given. Yeah, she is upset for the moment if I say, take game cube away and she is happy and excited if she gets rewarded for something, but the "long term" effects just aren't there (long term effects being either repetition of the behavior that she was rewarded for, or ceasing the behavior that she was punished for). I think that this is normal to a degree but it seems to me that the older she gets the more she should understand the "if you do this, this is what will happen" scenario. Am I wrong?

I think part of this whole thing is that I just don't "get her." I don't understand how she works, what she thinks etc.

Another contributing factor? I have this intense feeling that says she's, well, bored. She's so far beyond some of what is being taught to her. Intellectually speaking, she is so far ahead of the game that it's almost unreal. This is, in my opinion, a big reason behind why she is distracted easily, disorganized and forgetful. This is why I am anxious to get the neuro-psychological testing done that her neurologist recommended a while back. I have been on the phone with his office trying to push this along. This testing will include, among other things, an IQ test. While this test is not something I consider to be the "be all end all" of this whole situation, I do feel that, along with the other testing that will be done, it will be useful in assessing the areas that may be of concern, and give us a better idea of where we are at.

On a lighter note, at my meeting last night (MDDA)I spent about 20 minutes explaining my situation with Emily to everyone.

My friend Neal said, "So basically, she can't get her shit together?"

Yup, pretty much!