...how on earth I am supposed to discipline a child who is not, in any way that I can tell affected by the consequences of her behavior?
Here's what I have tried:
1. Talking about why the behavior needs to change and offering some suggestions as to how she could do that.
2. Asking the "How would you feel if..." questions in an attempt to show her that if she wouldn't like someone behaving that way with her, than the person on the receiving end of her behavior probably won't like it either.
3. Trying to examine with her input why, when something makes her mad she feels the only way to express her anger is to kick the entertainment center, or throw something at a wall, and, offered additional ways to physically take out her anger, like punching a pillow, or even screaming in to it.
4. Taken away privileges( computer, tv, phone MP3 Player etc).
5. Gone completely freakin' crazy...yelling and screaming and behaving in a way that isn't even recognizable to myself (and I am the one doing it).
Nothing I have tried has worked. The behavior may stop for the moment, but nothing has worked to stop it permanently. It seems to me that at the age of 10, she should be able to reach back and remember, "The last time I did this, this happened. Maybe I shouldn't do it this time."
Thoughts? Any one? I am at my wits end, which for those who know me in "real life" know, is saying something.
I could ask similar questions, and we're nowhere near prehormonal ages yet.
ReplyDeleteI was always vaguely embarrassed when I lost my temper that way, which helped, but at 10 I still hadn't learned not to break things I didn't want to have to replace (I was a "throw something" temper, when I lost it enough, and that usually meant something of my own, eventually things of value like my tape recorder).
In short, I have no clue.
Oh sharon i sympathize totally wiht you. I am going through that too. We have to just keep trying and keep diciplining, b/c we love them. If it's Emily, it could be hormones as well. My Em crys at the drop of a hat. I have been rubbing natural progestrone cream on her. It seems to be helping with the moods a bit. It's natural and wont hurt.
ReplyDeleteI totally understand though b/c with MEg it's your Emily. Sean and i blame some of it on the EFD. We swear it just doesnt stick.. BUT much to our suprise, when a situation came up a few weeks ago, MEg came home KNOWING what the others did was wrong and left the situation for she knew it wasnt right.
IT"LL STICK SHA, we just gotta keep trying.
(HUGS)