Julia...

...has an appointment with her developmental pediatrician next week (Tuesday to be exact). I have emailed her the list of concerns I expressed here a few weeks ago so that we can discuss things at her appoitnment. I have decided though, to narrow it down to my top five concerns...the things that occur most frequently and the things that seem to worry me the most.

1. Sometimes, in certain situations she seems overwhelmed. This seems to happen in larger crowds but it has happened on occasion with a one on one situation. She is so overwhelmed that she is reduced to tears and it's the "oh my god I don't know what to do with myself, I can't handle this cry." It's different from her, "I am in pain cry" and it is different from her "I just feel like crying because I am two years old and dammit I'll cry if I want to cry cry. " Another way in which this seems to manifest itself is in her repetitive "Hi Mama" exclamations when new people walk in to the room. It's like this even among people she sees on a fairly regular basis (friends). It's almost like she is confirming that I am there, and that she is safe.

2. Her eating concerns. The past couple of days have been ok, with her eating the broccoli and corn, but overall, there is still something going on there. I am sure that it involves the texture of foods and the feeling of moving the food around in her mouth but either way, it's a concern.

3. The way she doesn't "stand up for herself" or even share toys with other kids. She backs off and just lets the other kid use her toy. Two year olds don't do that. They fight, or say "mine" or in the best case scenario they decide to play with the toy together.

4. The fact that she has no idea how to make a choice. It's hard to explain this but it's not like she doesn't want make a choice or doesn't prefer one thing over another. She doesn't appear to understand the concept, at all. When presented a chouce visually (2 different toys say) and you ask her, "Do you want to play with the red ball or the yellow car?" while holding the objects in front of her she either stares blankly, repeats the phrase you have just said ("red ball or yellow car") or just says, "Yeah." The same situation occurs when the choice needs to be made without a visual aid ("Do you want juice or milk?"). She in no way indicates what she wants by verbalizing her choice, or in the case of something she can see, pointing to it. Some people are going to say to expose her to more opportunities to make a choice and she will catch on. I can't even tell you how many opportunities I have presented to her and continue to present to her and, while it's true that she will more than likely "get it" eventually, it would be good to know if there was some reason for her inability to do it, or if there is anything else I could be doing to help her.

5. The whole sensory thing and how this could all be related to everything else that is going on. The symptoms she has, the ones that are questionable and everything in between.

I plan to focus the discussion on these specific concerns, as well as obvioulsy any the doctor may have. I am also hoping to get a letter or recommendation from the doctor regarding Julia's admittance in to the public pre school (even if I can't believe that my baby will be three in July and ready to go to school...even if I am freaking out thinking about how hard it will be to leave her even if sher doesn't cry when I do, even though I think she will...even if...well, you get the picture)!