How much responsibility do I need to take for Emily's school work and lack of organization skills? How much reminding do I need to do? How much correcting do I need to do? How much is too much? How much is too little?
She's 12. She has ADHD. She's not hyper...just disorganized (more so than the average kid) and slightly impulsive. And, the poor child has a mother who has OCD when it comes to these kinds of things. Nothing is ever in it's correct folder, her locker looks like a tornado blew through and she is frequently missing things she needs for class or homework. Still, to her credit, she's quite smart...perhaps in ways that go beyond her years. Her grades don't generally reflect her disorganization. Most of the time (with Math being the exception) she gets all A's and B's. Disorganization aside, Math is hard for her and if anyone can relate to that, it's me. So my line of thinking is two fold; if she was organized and "together" would she be getting all A's (and really in the scheme of life how important is that?) and, if she can be a disorganized mess and still be successful, does it even matter to begin with?
The bottom line is that I am thinking that it is time for the responsibility to shift a bit. Clearly my nagging and reminding do nothing to help the situation and all suggestions and accommodations we have tried don't appear to work. Trying to get her organized and together causes more arguments and stress than I think is worth it, especially given the fact that the it doesn't appear to be helping get her organized. Emily is old enough to understand consequences. Maybe it's time for me to step back, and just let the natural consequences of her situation take the spotlight? Thoughts?
12 is still young.
ReplyDeleteYou're the parent - don't forget that. How important are grades? Plenty. They'll partially define what college she goes to and what job she gets.
When she graduates from college, with no experience, all she really has are grades. They will be a big part of the employers decision on who to hire.