...when I don't cry at the drop of a hat. Seriously, between Nana's passing and Ryun's work situation going from bad to worse, it has taken nothing (and more so than usual) for the tears to flow.
Like for example today...when I got Julia's progress notes for her IEP. Not something to cry over really (especially considering the progress she has made has been amazing) but I did. Why? Because a couple of small things are still works in progress like her ability to answer "wh" questions, her need for encouragement and examples beyond what would be considered the norm, and some continuing struggles socially. Still? I don't generally cry over these things.
I am so overwhelmed with what I have to do (in part because I did nothing last week except for what was necessary to remain, well, alive). I spent almost every waking minute in the rehab/nursing home with my Nana, mother, sisters and aunt experiencing what was probably the saddest, but most emotionally bonding time of my entire life. I wouldn't trade a singles minute of the time I spent there, but you know what they say about payback. I have so much to do, I don't even know where to start. I cry just thinking about the list. No, literally, cry.
My stomach has this huge, empty, yet full of tension and nerves spot that just doesn't seem to have subsided much, if at all.
Clearly, the first thing on the to do list needs to be some action steps that I can take to settle myself down and just let myself be. I am going to start tonight by heading to bed with the ipod and my classical music playlist. Hopefully, sleep will come quickly and with ease.
Not that you asked for my advice, but I think you had the right idea in one of your posts from last month:
ReplyDeleteOne of my biggest goals this year is to "remember me." I am determined to take better care of myself. In short, I am putting myself back on my to do list.
Your involvement in the override is going to cause a lot of stress. The chance of success is slim. If it fails, you must take the loss for what it is: Nothing personal and simply a political campaign that didn't go your way.
For myself, I find that regular exercise, particularly outdoor exercise, does wonders for an overall feeling of well being.
Meant to say I would never take the override not passing as a personal thing. But, personally speaking, I will be beside myself if it doesn't pass. The results of that would be nothing less than catastrophic for the school and our kids.
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