So...

...it has even become a reality yet and I am already nervous about Julia and her first dancing class. Julia just doesn't go and...do things without me. She needs a lot of encouragement, a lot of prompting and even at that, she is usually "on her own, a little withdrawn and not fully participating in the activity. I am having a hard time picturing her just leaving me in the reception area of the dance studio and going off to do her thing. I am also having a hard time seeing her, if she does actually leave and do her thing, you know, actually doing her thing. I realize hat the attention level of four year olds is not great to begin with, but Julia's "off in her own world" sort of thing is more pronounced than what I think the average four year old might display. I can totally see her wandering around the studio, looking aimlessly around, while the teacher is trying to get the kids to tap five times to the left, or whatever. I am going to try it though. I was also thinking of tyring to call the studio to see if I could visit with Julia a few times before her scheduled class to maybe give her an idea of what will be going on. I was also contemplating writing a letter to give to the teacher, explaining Julia and her various behaviors. I also thought about printing out a picture of her teacher which I can get online and maybe a few pictures of kids dancing and making a little, "When I Go To Dance" book for her. Or, I might just let her go and see what happens, with no pre-planning at all beyond talking about it with Julia.

While we are on the subject of things that are making me nervous, I just realized that Julia's first day of school is on a Monday...which means her first day will involve her riding to school on the bus as opposed to me driving her (her IEP states that 2 of the 4 days she will go on the bus, the opposite 2 I will drive her...she could have gone on the bus all 4 days but I like to drive her so I can visit the school and be more aware of what is going on). She seems pretty excited about the bus but I hope the excitement translates in to her getting on and going without a hassle.

All of this boils down to an entry that I need to write that basically boils down to this: Am I doing wrong by her by making her go on the bus, go to dance, or anything else that may be uncomfortable for her, or am doing the right thing by trying to fit her in to some mold that society has cast that says she has to go to dance or that she has to go on a bus to school, or that she has to go to school at all? There's a lot more to it than that but it will have to wait until I can get it out of my head and on to paper in some sort of coherent way.