Things I Am Nervous About (more so than I would be normally or than I was w/ Emily and Katherine) In List Form:
---The big bus, for a multitude of reasons..she's so small and the seats are huge in comparison, the crazy bus transfer thing, the number of kids on the bus, and the specific guided direction she will need and won't get unless she's on the mini bus.
---the classroom. I have a hard time picturing Julia sitting attentively in a classroom, without an aid consistently re-directing and reassuring her.
---the full day.
---the bathroom. She has a weird "thing" about bathrooms and I find it highly unlikely that she will go to a bathroom on her own without an adult there (she does this at home of course but I mean in a public sort of bathroom situation at school) or that if she does manage to go to the bathroom herself, if she will be able to find her way back to her class, or not choose to go wondering.
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Katherine
In such a typical "middle child" thing to do (suffer quietly while the attention is bestowed upon older and younger siblings), Katherine informed me just last week that she has been missing recess consistently for months, due to unfinished class work. Needless to say this was all horrifying to me (missing recess to complete work, her keeping it to her self for so long, and the fact that the teacher had not been in contact with me to let me know what was going on).
Rather than share the whole letter I will quote a portion of it here, in which I directly address my distaste for missing recess to complete work.
"While I agree that the work needs to be completed, I would like to try, with your assistance and guidance, to find out why that is, and take steps to correct the problem, rather than just have her miss recess to get it done."
Of course, that was a lot tamer than what was going through my head. Something that the teacher brought up at Katherine's Parent-Teacher Conference back in November was that Katherine's social behaviors sometimes get in the way of her academics (read: talking too much). I wonder exactly how taking recess away will help in that regard? As it is, the kids only have that 15 minutes in a six and a half hour day of unstructured free play. Taking that time away for any reason (most especially not completing class work) is certainly not going to help her pay attention and talk less. I wonder why teachers, who seriously should know this stuff and should make the connection, don't?
I also wonder why the first step wouldn't be to figure out why she isn't finishing her work. Is she being allowed that recess time and still not paying attention/talking too much? Is it too much or too hard for her? Is there some other distraction?
I understand the idea behind taking recess away, besides the obvious part of the work needing to be done. I am guessing the hope is that the child will make the connection that if they don't finish their work they will miss recess. In some cases, maybe that is true, and maybe the problem would be solved. After months of though? I think it's time to explore other options.
Rather than share the whole letter I will quote a portion of it here, in which I directly address my distaste for missing recess to complete work.
"While I agree that the work needs to be completed, I would like to try, with your assistance and guidance, to find out why that is, and take steps to correct the problem, rather than just have her miss recess to get it done."
Of course, that was a lot tamer than what was going through my head. Something that the teacher brought up at Katherine's Parent-Teacher Conference back in November was that Katherine's social behaviors sometimes get in the way of her academics (read: talking too much). I wonder exactly how taking recess away will help in that regard? As it is, the kids only have that 15 minutes in a six and a half hour day of unstructured free play. Taking that time away for any reason (most especially not completing class work) is certainly not going to help her pay attention and talk less. I wonder why teachers, who seriously should know this stuff and should make the connection, don't?
I also wonder why the first step wouldn't be to figure out why she isn't finishing her work. Is she being allowed that recess time and still not paying attention/talking too much? Is it too much or too hard for her? Is there some other distraction?
I understand the idea behind taking recess away, besides the obvious part of the work needing to be done. I am guessing the hope is that the child will make the connection that if they don't finish their work they will miss recess. In some cases, maybe that is true, and maybe the problem would be solved. After months of though? I think it's time to explore other options.
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Letter Says It All
Below is the letter I wrote to Emily's teachers, her principal and guidance counselor. It's a little more personal than I tend to get normally but, I am anxious to hear your opinions and thoughts on it, so I left it all in there!
I wanted to touch base with you regarding my daughter, Emily. Emily continues to have difficulty with organization, and as you are aware, this is affecting her grades in a negative way. You may not be aware, that it is also affecting her self esteem in the same way. I would like to request a meeting to discuss these concerns with you, and perhaps come up with a plan to help Emily achieve all that I know she can.
Emily is currently on a 504 Accommodation Plan, in which her diagnosis of ADHD is clearly defined as a disability. At the time of her plans writing when she began third grade, her academic progress was not being hindered by her disability. Clearly, this is no longer the case.
From all accounts, Emily’s eagerness in the classroom, participation in class, and all around positive attitude, have shown that she has a true desire to learn and achieve. To that end, it is my opinion and hers that she needs more support, on both an emotional and academic level.
After Emily met with Mrs. School Guidance Counselor in the beginning of the year, Mrs. School Guidance Counselor indicated that she had some concerns for Emily, and offered the suggestion that Emily receive counseling services. We have since started Emily’s counseling services with her counselor, of Blah Blah Counseling Services(EDITED FOR PRIVACY). I am requesting that her counselor be allowed to see Emily during school hours.
Due in large part to Emily’s feelings around her lack of organizational skills and the results of that, Emily’s self esteem is suffering greatly. She frequently makes comments like, “Why am I so stupid?”, “Why can’t I be more organized?”, and “I try but I just can’t do it.” While Emily's counselor is working on these and other concerns, our combined schedules make it difficult for Emily to see her more than once every couple of weeks. Emily’s feelings and esteem continue to decline, and this schedule is not adequate enough to really address these issues. Emily’s feelings and esteem relate directly to her organization, an intrinsic part of her life at school, and one of the main reasons both Emily and I feel she is not achieving all she is capable of. While the option to take Emily out of school weekly exists, this would require her to be out of school for two hours, as opposed to the 45 minute session she would miss if these services were taking place at school. Missing two hours of school weekly certainly would not help Emily in her conquest to get organized and achieve a higher level of self esteem.
Emily recently explained the “check mark” program to me. It is my understanding that if a student is missing work, forgetting needed classroom materials, or having behavioral concerns, they receive check marks. If the student receives four checks from one teacher, or ten overall, they are not allowed to participate in the reward at the end of the check mark period. Emily should not participate in the check mark program based on her organizational abilities. Her disorganization is an inherent part of her ADHD, which is defined as a disability. Emily should not be punished for something that is a symptom of her disability. While I certainly believe that there is much room for improvement, and that it is in fact possible that Emily will improve, until she is on a level comparable with her typical peers in regard to organization, participation in this program is not appropriate for Emily.
I would like to request that the following accommodations be added to Emily’s existing 504 Plan:
--Allow for expedient make up of missing homework. If deduction for lateness works, keep doing it. If it does not, recognize the problem as an uncorrectable disability.
--If Emily forgets her homework or any other needed item in her locker, allow her until the end of the day to bring it to you, or if possible get it at the time it is discovered missing.
--Emily should not participate in the “check mark” program based on her organization skills.
I sincerely look forward to meeting with you and discussing this further. I am open to hearing any suggestions and thoughts you may have.
I wanted to touch base with you regarding my daughter, Emily. Emily continues to have difficulty with organization, and as you are aware, this is affecting her grades in a negative way. You may not be aware, that it is also affecting her self esteem in the same way. I would like to request a meeting to discuss these concerns with you, and perhaps come up with a plan to help Emily achieve all that I know she can.
Emily is currently on a 504 Accommodation Plan, in which her diagnosis of ADHD is clearly defined as a disability. At the time of her plans writing when she began third grade, her academic progress was not being hindered by her disability. Clearly, this is no longer the case.
From all accounts, Emily’s eagerness in the classroom, participation in class, and all around positive attitude, have shown that she has a true desire to learn and achieve. To that end, it is my opinion and hers that she needs more support, on both an emotional and academic level.
After Emily met with Mrs. School Guidance Counselor in the beginning of the year, Mrs. School Guidance Counselor indicated that she had some concerns for Emily, and offered the suggestion that Emily receive counseling services. We have since started Emily’s counseling services with her counselor, of Blah Blah Counseling Services(EDITED FOR PRIVACY). I am requesting that her counselor be allowed to see Emily during school hours.
Due in large part to Emily’s feelings around her lack of organizational skills and the results of that, Emily’s self esteem is suffering greatly. She frequently makes comments like, “Why am I so stupid?”, “Why can’t I be more organized?”, and “I try but I just can’t do it.” While Emily's counselor is working on these and other concerns, our combined schedules make it difficult for Emily to see her more than once every couple of weeks. Emily’s feelings and esteem continue to decline, and this schedule is not adequate enough to really address these issues. Emily’s feelings and esteem relate directly to her organization, an intrinsic part of her life at school, and one of the main reasons both Emily and I feel she is not achieving all she is capable of. While the option to take Emily out of school weekly exists, this would require her to be out of school for two hours, as opposed to the 45 minute session she would miss if these services were taking place at school. Missing two hours of school weekly certainly would not help Emily in her conquest to get organized and achieve a higher level of self esteem.
Emily recently explained the “check mark” program to me. It is my understanding that if a student is missing work, forgetting needed classroom materials, or having behavioral concerns, they receive check marks. If the student receives four checks from one teacher, or ten overall, they are not allowed to participate in the reward at the end of the check mark period. Emily should not participate in the check mark program based on her organizational abilities. Her disorganization is an inherent part of her ADHD, which is defined as a disability. Emily should not be punished for something that is a symptom of her disability. While I certainly believe that there is much room for improvement, and that it is in fact possible that Emily will improve, until she is on a level comparable with her typical peers in regard to organization, participation in this program is not appropriate for Emily.
I would like to request that the following accommodations be added to Emily’s existing 504 Plan:
--Allow for expedient make up of missing homework. If deduction for lateness works, keep doing it. If it does not, recognize the problem as an uncorrectable disability.
--If Emily forgets her homework or any other needed item in her locker, allow her until the end of the day to bring it to you, or if possible get it at the time it is discovered missing.
--Emily should not participate in the “check mark” program based on her organization skills.
I sincerely look forward to meeting with you and discussing this further. I am open to hearing any suggestions and thoughts you may have.
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Lunch
Yesterday, I gave Julia a hot dog with ketchup for lunch. After a few minutes, I left her at the table, and ran down stairs to transfer laundry. When I came up? She held her ketchup-covered hands up and said," Well Mom, I guess you caught me red-handed." She had finished her hot dog and used the remaining ketchup left like finger paint, rubbing her hands all over the plate. Amazingly, she managed not to get ketchup on anything else, including her white shirt!
It was probably about the funniest thing she has ever done. When I asked her what made her think of doing it, and especially how she knew how precisely to say the "red handed" comment, she explained that she had seen the characters on the show, "Hi 5" do it with real finger paint. Still, I thought it was pretty amazing that she remembered the show, knew exactly how to use the ketchup, and knew exactly how to say the red handed pun with just the right amount of regret and shame.
It was definitely one of those parental, "Do I laugh or Do I get angry?" moments. I chose to laugh. I did speak to her after all was said and done and just let her know that it might not be the best idea to do something like that in the future. If nothing else it was a great sensory activity for her!
It was probably about the funniest thing she has ever done. When I asked her what made her think of doing it, and especially how she knew how precisely to say the "red handed" comment, she explained that she had seen the characters on the show, "Hi 5" do it with real finger paint. Still, I thought it was pretty amazing that she remembered the show, knew exactly how to use the ketchup, and knew exactly how to say the red handed pun with just the right amount of regret and shame.
It was definitely one of those parental, "Do I laugh or Do I get angry?" moments. I chose to laugh. I did speak to her after all was said and done and just let her know that it might not be the best idea to do something like that in the future. If nothing else it was a great sensory activity for her!
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Are you kidding?
This is so unbelievably wrong on so many levels I can't even begin to tell you(the part about weighing and measuring kids etc).
Saturday, January 3, 2009
Ok, so I Lied.
I didn't think I had anything else to say tonight, or any time soon for that matter, but I just read this article and was inspired.
I am not one who usually make's an active effort when it comes to New Year's resolutions, but, this year? I am just going to make the overall resolution to improve on myself, in whatever small and big ways I see fit. So, from that list, I am going to try this year to do the following to improve upon my parenting skills:
Don't clip your child's wings. Your child's mission in life is to gain independence. So when she's developmentally capable of putting her toys away, clearing her plate from the table, and dressing herself, let her. Giving a child responsibility is good for her self-esteem (and your sanity!).
Don't try to fix everything. Give young kids a chance to find their own solutions. When you lovingly acknowledge a child's minor frustrations without immediately rushing in to save her, you teach her self-reliance and resilience.
Play with your children. Let them choose the activity, and don't worry about rules. Just go with the flow and have fun. That's the name of the game.
Read books together every day. Get started when he's a newborn; babies love listening to the sound of their parents' voices. Cuddling up with your child and a book is a great bonding experience that will set him up for a lifetime of reading.
Fess up when you blow it. This is the best way to show your child how and when she should apologize.
Trust your mommy gut. No one knows your child better than you. Follow your instincts when it comes to his health and well-being. If you think something's wrong, chances are you're right.
Show your child how to become a responsible citizen. Find ways to help others all year. Kids gain a sense of self-worth by volunteering in the community.
Savor the moments. Yes, parenthood is the most exhausting job on the planet. Yes, your house is a mess, the laundry's piled up, and the dog needs to be walked. But your kid just laughed. Enjoy it now -- it will be over far too fast.
Some of these I already do to one degree or another. Some of them are harder than they may seem (like not trying to fix everything and allowing greater independence). The independence one is especially difficult as they get older...not so much with the younger toddler years...but the older pre-teen years.
Anyway, i figure these are good goals to aspire to. We'll see how it goes.
I am not one who usually make's an active effort when it comes to New Year's resolutions, but, this year? I am just going to make the overall resolution to improve on myself, in whatever small and big ways I see fit. So, from that list, I am going to try this year to do the following to improve upon my parenting skills:
Don't clip your child's wings. Your child's mission in life is to gain independence. So when she's developmentally capable of putting her toys away, clearing her plate from the table, and dressing herself, let her. Giving a child responsibility is good for her self-esteem (and your sanity!).
Don't try to fix everything. Give young kids a chance to find their own solutions. When you lovingly acknowledge a child's minor frustrations without immediately rushing in to save her, you teach her self-reliance and resilience.
Play with your children. Let them choose the activity, and don't worry about rules. Just go with the flow and have fun. That's the name of the game.
Read books together every day. Get started when he's a newborn; babies love listening to the sound of their parents' voices. Cuddling up with your child and a book is a great bonding experience that will set him up for a lifetime of reading.
Fess up when you blow it. This is the best way to show your child how and when she should apologize.
Trust your mommy gut. No one knows your child better than you. Follow your instincts when it comes to his health and well-being. If you think something's wrong, chances are you're right.
Show your child how to become a responsible citizen. Find ways to help others all year. Kids gain a sense of self-worth by volunteering in the community.
Savor the moments. Yes, parenthood is the most exhausting job on the planet. Yes, your house is a mess, the laundry's piled up, and the dog needs to be walked. But your kid just laughed. Enjoy it now -- it will be over far too fast.
Some of these I already do to one degree or another. Some of them are harder than they may seem (like not trying to fix everything and allowing greater independence). The independence one is especially difficult as they get older...not so much with the younger toddler years...but the older pre-teen years.
Anyway, i figure these are good goals to aspire to. We'll see how it goes.
It has been forever...
...since I posted something of substance here, hasn't it? I am just not feeling it lately for whatever reason, and, honestly? I just have pictures today...but pictures of the kids so that's exciting, right?
Christmas morning. Too big to fit under the tree? The new swing set and the details of the Disney trip.
Yay for Christmas!
Enthralled with Edward Cullen...aren't we all?
Just before the opening began...
A huge pile of wrapping paper = a four year old's playground.
The aftermath.
Julia opening her marble set, I think.
She might even be a rock star!
Christmas morning. Too big to fit under the tree? The new swing set and the details of the Disney trip.
Yay for Christmas!
Enthralled with Edward Cullen...aren't we all?
Just before the opening began...
A huge pile of wrapping paper = a four year old's playground.
The aftermath.
Julia opening her marble set, I think.
She might even be a rock star!
And having nothing to do with Christmas this adorable picture of Julia taken the week before.
Anyway, I will be back...hopefully more regularly at some point!
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