Reasons Unknown

It is a strange thing when you see something that reminds you of someone and you go to call them, only to remember that they haven't been a part of your life for two years.  There have been a lot of changes in my life over this time; most of them for the better. For some reason though, looking back, this person not being a part of my life still hurts.  It was their choice to leave.  While I made some decisions that were absolutely a contributing factor in their choice, in the end the simple fact that they left during one of the most tumultuous, difficult and trying times of my life (no matter that I brought it on myself) says a lot about how true a friend they really were to begin with.

 I truly believe that God, the universe, and "nature" really have plan that defies understanding sometimes, though that lack of understanding may be hard to accept, I have to believe that there is a reason for everything, even if it isn't clear at the time.  For some reason, unbeknownst to be, this person was not meant to be with me.  It's as simple and as complicated as that.

RIP Dr. Dyer

The first book I read of  Dr. Wayne Dyer's was "I Can See Clearly Now." Perhaps my favorite quote from the book is this:  "I’ve spoken often of the metaphor of the wake of a boat— that the wake is nothing more than the trail that is left behind, and it has no power in the present. It does not and cannot drive the boat. It is a trail that has no influence on the boat whatsoever."  It was early on in the book and was the first time of many times since then that I felt as if Dr. Dyer was speaking directly to me.

  One of the best gifts I got from reading Dr. Dyer's books was the ability his words had to "make me see." I don't know how to explain it really.  He spoke to me on many levels, in many ways.  I have had countless "aha" moments while reading his books or watching his tv specials.  His perspective, outlook, and attitude have meant so much to me over the past couple of years and I truly believe were a catalyst for my journey from the darkness in to the light.  While it seems weird to be this affected by the passing of someone I have never met, his influence on me has been immeasurable.  He may be physically gone but his teachings, spirit, and wisdom will continue to change the world through the legacy he left behind.

To The Critic Inside My Head

Shut up!  Just shut up!  I don't need you and your damn negativity taking up space in my head.  I have overcome too much to let you get in my way.  There is no room for you in my life.  None.  Whatsoever.  So get the hell out.  And stay out.  You are not welcome here.