Back To Life

It was back to "real life" today for the Ellis Family and I think the kids were actually excited to get back in to a schedule.  Other than having company for the latter half of the week, we didn't really do anything all that exciting.  I think the kids wish we had, but for me, a nice relaxing week of nothing was needed and well deserved.  Only Julia was slightly hesitant about heading back to school but this is normal for her.  It has always been a bit of an adjustment for her to get back in to the swing of things after a break.

Reality for me means that I am very busy.  As luck would have it, this week is fairly low key with meetings (only two which must be some sort of record).  I was planning on going to the BOS meeting tonight but I think I am going to watch this one from home.  I have a lot to do before my trip to DC next week and since I will be gone for three days, I want to be home with the family as much as possible before then.  Tomorrow night I have the third of four planned Strategic Planning meetings for the School Department and Wednesday I will be at PTSA at the middle school.  The kids have a few things going on (a basketball practice, playoff basketball game and a doctor's appointment for Katherine and Scouts, PTSA and a cookie sale for Emily).  My lack of meetings will make this week easier, but certainly no less busy when you throw in the kids schedules.

My plans for the remainder of the afternoon are trip related.  I need to figure out and arrange for transportation to and from the airport and the hotel as well as figure out exactly what I will need to bring for money (most expenses are paid for by the National PTA but there are a few things I will need to take care of). I need to make phone calls to confirm meetings with Senators Kerry and Brown as well as Congressman Frank.   I am also going to finish putting together my binder with all of the information I need to have with me so that will be all set.  After that, the OCD part of me will be making a complete listing of everything Ryun  needs to know while I am gone.  I wouldn't consider my self to be controlling or a control freak but when it comes to the kids, their schedules and routines, yes, I am slightly obsessed.  That aside, there are certain things that I just always do...things like go through their school materials when they get home, make sure homework gets done etc.  It has always just been my job and while I have every confidence that Ryun knows what to do and is more than capable of doing it, it will make me feel better to have it in writing.  Even re-reading this I realize how crazy this sounds but, um, it won't stop me from doing it.  I am just going to embrace the crazy...it is what it is, right?

Anyway, off to it.  There are only a couple of hours left before the kids get home!

A Recent Status Update

Em and Julia were having a little spat. They were pretty much over it when shortly after, I had a discussion with Ryun about a Dr.'s appointment Emily has Tuesday. Out of nowhere, Julia, who may I remind you, is only 6 years old said, "Yeah Emily, well I hope they take your voice box out!" What?!?! It was seriously one of the funniest/most sarcastic/perfectly timed things she has ever said....and oh so "Ryun" of her.   After I stopped crying from laughing so hard, When I asked where she had learned about voice boxes, she replied in a very matter of fact tone, "The Little Mermaid."

Seriously, this girl never misses a beat!

Suggestions

It is my intent to spend the entire afternoon outside tomorrow to take full advantage of the beautiful day that is coming our way.  Ideally I would like to spend some of the time walking and some, perhaps, just sitting down and taking it all in.  Normally, a walk along the canal suits these purposes just fine but I was thinking it would be nice to try something different.  So,local readers, I am looking for your suggestions.  Not to be extremely picky but here is my ideal description of someplace I would like to go:

-must be local to Middleboro (by local I mean in Middleboro itself or within 45 minutes of the town lines because I need to be home late afternoon for the girls and don't intend to head out until mid morning or so).

-must have paved or well packed down walkways (I am not at all opposed to walking through the woods but I imagine the woods would be a muddy, wet mess at this point with the snow melt and I am all set with that).

-must have some sort of option for sitting (benches would be ideal but if the walkway is paved, I don't mind just sitting along the edge) so I can just sit, relax, admire the scenery, take in the fresh air, and possibly even spend some time reading).

-Must not need four wheel drive as the only means of access (no four wheel drive on the van).

So there you have it.  Suggestions welcome and appreciated!

It;s A Literal Life

Ryun (to me):  I killed my hand fixing the alternator in the truck today.

Julia:  Really Dad? If your hand is dead then how come it is still moving?
 

Attics, Birds, Doors and Flowers

Last night I had a dream that Ryun and I were looking at the front door of our house, trying to figure out why there were pink flowers growing from the top of the door and why, when it was opened we could see directly through the ceiling to the attic where there were birds nesting and chirping away.


Um...yeah.  People probably think my dreams are weird.  Personally I think they are always symbolic of something and what would be weird is if I ever had a normal, run of the mill dream that had no clearly defined meaning.


I have become so good at analyzing my dreams without the aid of a dream dictionary that it is almost scary.  I knew this dream would have something to do with letting go, love, happiness and self discovery.  When I referred to the dream dictionary here is what I found:


To dream of chirping and/or flying birds, represents joy, harmony, ecstasy, balance, and love. It denotes a sunny outlook in life. You are experiencing spiritual freedom and psychological liberation.

A door that opens into the inside, denotes your desire for inner exploration and self-discovery.

An attic symbolizes your mind, spirituality, and your connection to the higher Self.

To see colorful flowers in your dream, signify kindness, compassion, gentleness, pleasure, beauty, and gain. It is also symbolic of perfection and spirituality. Your dream may be an expression of love, joy and happiness. Alternatively, flowers in dream, especially if they are blooming, represent your hidden potential and latent talents.

 Pink represents love, joy, sweetness, happiness, affection and kindness.

Looks like my interpretation was right on.

Do you ever...

...just want to apologize to your kids for their poor fortune in inheriting your worst qualities and traits?  Or for their genetic makeup that was not of their choosing(obviously)?  I don't know...maybe I am the only one. 

I was thinking about this after a recent discussion with Katherine's teacher.  You all know (well anybody that has been following this blog for a while knows) that my oldest daughter Emily has ADD.  I don't think I or my parents necessarily realized it at the time but reflecting back, and looking at myself now as an adult, there isn't a doubt in my mind that I am the picture perfect painting of someone with attentional issues.  It manifests in different ways as an adult.  I am the world's worst procrastinator(though I do find that under pressure is the only way I work to my capacity).  I jump from one thing to another before I have finished the first thing.  My follow through skills leave a lot to be desired.  I would literally forget my entire life if I didn't have it staring me down in multiple locations...calendars, post it notes, electronic devices etc.  I can't even tell you what I am doing tomorrow without consulting my calendar.  I don't plan anything that I am not forced to (for example scheduled appointments).

For Emily, her concerns are a direct result of her confirmed medical issues.  After she was diagnosed with Epilepsy, as part of a normal barrage of testing to find out if her seizures had a definable cause, her MRI came back showing a "never before seen" abnormality in the frontal lobes of her brain.  Since the frontal lobes control all things like attention and other executive functions, Emily's concerns in this area make sense.  Though I have never had an MRI of my brain, I have no reason to believe that I have this same condition, nor do I for Katherine who is progressively displaying some of the same symptoms her sister and I have displayed, and some different ones as well.

It becomes clearer to me as we move through this life that these types of things obviously "run" in families.  Whether there is an identifiable medical concern that could cause such attention deficits as in Emily's case, or if it is some intricate part of our genetic make up, I do not know.  It is possible that simply the way we live our everyday lives has some influence on this as well.  Are we making the right decisions about certain things?  Could situations be handled in different ways achieving different outcomes in regard to the level of attention that is given?

I don't know the answers and I suspect I never will, at least not in a concrete sort of way.  What I do know is this: I need to get rid of the guilt. I also need to remind myself that they may have gotten the worst but they also got the best of me.  And if the best of me is some of what I see in them everyday?  The best of me is pretty damn good.

Perspective...

"In the depths of winter...

...I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer."

~Albert Camus~