Every night before I fall asleep, I pray. Much of the time it is a very simple prayer that goes something like, "Thank you. I welcome you in to my life, please show me the way." Once in a while it is more elaborate and sometimes, it is more like a jumbled mess of thoughts and not really like a prayer at all. About a week ago I had prayed the simple, "Thank you..." prayer and the strangest thing happened. For about thirty seconds I felt this weird, yet positive "vibration" through my whole body. It was more like a pulsing of energy than a vibration and it was like nothing I had ever felt before. In the short time span of maybe ten seconds I had two immediate thoughts. The first was that we were having an earthquake, followed quickly by the thought that I was experiencing some sort of medical emergency. However, when I shut my mind off and just let myself experience the feeling, it was not one of fear or pain...it's was this overwhelming feeling of goodness and positivity. How did I feel about this? Obviously I asked God/the universe/my higher power to come into my life and someone or something took that opportunity to make their presence known in a very physical way. What other explanation could there be?
I have always felt very connected in a spiritual way; more so in recent years than ever before. I don't always know or interpret it as a connection to God but more of a connection with the universe or some other realm; a higher power for sure that just doesn't always have a clear definition. I don't know how to explain it really but what I know for sure is this: when I take the time to pray, meditate or focus my energy, whatever I am hoping, wishing or asking for usually comes to be in one way or another. Sometimes this fact freaks me out a little. Honestly the whole possibility of a higher power freaks me out a little.
My skepticism is always put in to question when I jump in full force praying, meditating and focusing and the answers I am looking for present. In those moments I am reassured and convinced that there is someone or something out there looking out for me, listening to me and working in my favor to guide me through this thing called life. The energy pulsing through my body that night only helped reinforce this belief. And, even in the face of recent events personally and in the world as a whole, since that night I have had this overwhelming sense of peace, a newfound confidence and a general feeling that everything will be alright.
I was hesitant about posting this...because even though it was my own experience, even to me it sounds a bit "out there." But this year is all about stepping out of my comfort zone and even though there might be a few eye rolls or questions regarding my experience or beliefs, I am done worrying about what other people's interpretations of me might be. I know me, my higher power knows me and I am perfectly comfortable with that.
